7 Expectations Worth Letting Go of Before Christmas Day

Christmas doesn’t need to be perfect to be meaningful. 

Christmas Day is right around the corner. And likely, along with it, the pressure to make everything perfect.

As Santa’s arrival gets closer, it seems like our to-do list grows, the standards rise, and somewhere along the way, a beautiful day begins to feel like something we have to manage rather than experience and enjoy.

But here’s the thing. None of our Christmas days were perfect when we were kids. We’re all humans and have been around long enough to know there is no such thing as perfect. So even when we look back with incredible fondness on Christmas as kids—it wasn’t perfect.

But we still loved it.

So before Christmas Day arrives, here are seven expectations to let go of—not because we care less about the day, but because we want to be fully present for what matters most.

1. The expectation that kids will be perfectly behaved

Christmas is loud. Routines are gone. Sugar is everywhere. Emotions are high. Of course kids will melt down.

Bring more patience than an expectation of perfection. The day doesn’t need to be calm to be meaningful anyway.

2. The expectation that everything will go according to schedule

Plans are helpful. Rigid timelines are not.

Something will take longer than you expect and a moment will unfold differently than anticipated.

I’m as big a planner as any. But not every day needs to follow my desired schedule for it to be awesome. In fact, sometimes it’s better when my plan doesn’t come to fruition.

3. The expectation that everyone will arrive on time

Related to the previous point (and probably in the back of my head when I wrote it), not everyone runs on the same time management passion as me.

So not everyone is going to show up on time. You know it to be true. It happens every year. Let go of the expectation right now that this year will be any different. Don’t let someone else’s tardiness ruin your mood or day.

4. The expectation that all the food will be amazing

Not every dish will be a win. And not every kid is going to be in the mood to eat everything you create.

Something will be overcooked. Something will be undercooked. Something will be overlooked. And something won’t be eaten.

And years from now, no one will remember the specific foods on the table anyway. They will remember how they felt sitting around it: Loved.

5. The expectation that everything will get done

There is always one more task. Always.

If we’re not careful, we’ll spend Christmas maintaining the day instead of living it. Some things can wait. Some details don’t matter.

Know when to walk away, sit down, and enjoy the moment of Christmas rather than constantly trying to create it.

6. The expectation that everyone will agree and no one will get upset

Put enough people together, and feelings will surface. Especially in family where everyone is comfortable.

Blessed are the peacemakers. So be one as best you can. But when there is strife over big things or small, find a little comfort in knowing that people in your family still choose to be together despite their differences. That is not the case for every family.

7. The expectation that we’ll get everything we want under the tree

We so often build up our expectations for what is under the Christmas tree that we miss the beauty of who is around it.

Some gifts won’t be there. Someone won’t put in the effort you thought they should. That can be okay. You put in the effort to show love to the people you care about—and you are the only one you can control anyway.

I want to be clear on this: Letting go of expectations doesn’t mean we lower the bar or settle for a crummy Christmas Day.

We can put in the effort and let go of expectations for perfection at the same time. We can do both.

And when we do, what remains is often what we were hoping for all along: Precious moments and memories with those we love most.