10 Reader Comments on Friendship

Have you read Kate Baer’s newest poem, The Bridesmaid’s Speech? It’s a beautiful ode to friendship. Is there anything more powerful than a friend-turned-sibling? Reader, I think not. Here are 10 reader comments on the subject…

On offbeat hangs:

“I attended a PowerPoint party, and it was hilarious. People presented on everything from bad ’80s movies to Phil Collin’s obsession with the Alamo (it’s real! He wrote a book!). We laughed and learned a lot; it was an amazing way to spend a winter weekend in the Midwest.” — Blythe

“My six closest friends and I sat for a formal studio portrait — coordinated outfits and all! The (very patient) photographer let us be our weird selves and even hold a printed out photo of one friend who couldn’t make it. Highly recommend capturing and proudly displaying images of deep friendship.” — MRM

“During quaratine, four of us (living in Salt Lake, Zurich, and London) started a Marco Polo chat where we’d randomly go through areas of our homes — like our bathroom cabinets, our fridges, our bedside tables. I loved getting to see these parts of my friends’ lives. Details that matter to them matter to me.” — Tanner

On unexpected friendships:

“When my sister and I were young, all the neighborhood kids were afraid of an elderly couple across the street — Rowland because he seemed grouchy and Nancy because she had health issues. I don’t remember how it happened, but my sister and I befriended them and went over several times a week. Rowland was the nicest, and Nancy seemed like she would have been a great mom. They gave us Dum-Dums, let us play in their backyard, and gave us each $5 for Christmas.They both have passed on now, and I will never see a Dum-Dum and not think of them. I hope someday to be a cool old person to a young neighbor.” — Margie

“My adult son, Wallace, is everyone’s not-so-stranger in our mid-sized city. He has developmental disabilities, and he’s the most joyful, friendly ’12-year-old’ in a 25-year-old body! We can be at a mall, or in the hardware store, or across town somewhere different, and out of nowhere, someone will wave, shout, or smile at him. Wallace will grin big and reply with an excited ‘Hey!’ When I ask who it was, he always gives the same answer: ‘My friend.’ I know he doesn’t know their names, but I’ve concluded that he’s the kind of not-so-stranger that makes everyone’s day brighter.” — Jo

On familial bonds:

“My best friends now have kids, and I’ve happily taken on the role of fun aunt. This summer, that meant attending the sports games that my friends’ kids played. It was fun to have a standing date once a week for six weeks, and when the kids were on the field, we got to hang as adults! And six-year-olds playing t-ball? Adorable.” — Amy

On looking out for each other:

“I’m an incredibly messy person (I’m neuro-spicy, and the executive functioning difficulties are REAL), but also an extrovert and stay-at-home parent. So, I’m frequently starved for adult interaction but ashamed about the state of my house. Recently, I responded to a neighbor’s text with ‘yeah I haven’t done [thing we were discussing] because I’m in a depression hole.’ Y’all, my hair was so dirty it was probably flammable, I was wearing a huge, old T-shirt with no bra, and my partner was on a work trip, so I was parenting and person-ing by myself. We were basically feral. Twenty minutes after I sent that text, my neighbor showed up with a cupcake. It was *not* a situation where a past version of me would have opened the door. But I took a breath and did, and this new friend hugged me, told me she’d been there, and asked permission to clean my kitchen while I took a shower. I wept with gratitude in that shower, and when I came out, my kitchen was clean and my kids had snacks. If you’re afraid to let people see past your polished self, maybe challenge that fear a little. There are really lovely things beyond it.” — Kara

On saying ‘I love you’:

“I once hung out with a new friend and had the best time. I felt the urge to say ‘love you!’ when we parted, but I wasn’t sure if that would weird her out. Then she beat me to it: ‘Love you, see you again soon!’ I had the biggest smile on my face the rest of the day. So, lesson learned: there’s a lot of unkindness and volatility in the world, and if a simple ‘love you’ from a new friend improved my day that much, I can only imagine how much sweeter things could be if we all said it more.’ — Claire

On friendships-turned-soulmates:

“My bestie and I have been friends since we shared a dorm room 15 years ago. We live in separate states now — and while I wish I could drop off cookies or run dumb errands or just watch old Disney Channel movies, when we do chat on the phone or get together, we pick up right where we left off. More than my husband, or my mom, she gets me. We joke that we are each other’s soulmates, and we actually mean it.” — Rebekah

“She was nine, I was nine and a half. My family had just moved to the neighborhood, and I was missing my old friends, so my mom took me to a field to fly kites. Soon another mom and daughter came over, and before long, the girl and I were off running, and our moms were left with the kites. I am now 80 years old, she is 79 and a half. We have shared our lives, ups and downs, good and bad. Have no idea where or who I would be without her. She feels the same. Just amazing.” — Barbara

What friendship stories would you add? We’d love to hear.

P.S. How to navigate friendships with disabled folks, and easy dinners to make when friends come over.

(Photo from Somebody Somewhere.)