3 'minimizing' phrases you should never say at work, from a communication expert

As a former world champion debater, Kate Mason, PhD, knows that the way you communicate can matter just as much as your message.

Mason, who lives in Sydney, Australia, spent a decade working in communications at companies like Google and YouTube before becoming an executive coach and founding her own strategic communications firm, Hedgehog + Fox, in 2017.

Through her work as a communications coach, Mason noticed a pattern she calls "imposing syndrome": many professionals, particularly women, are overly self-conscious about ruffling feathers or "being a bother" at work, she says, which often causes them to stay quiet and minimize their accomplishments.

These self-deprecating habits have "an insidious effect on their work and their standing," she says.

"It leads to underestimating themselves and their work by extension," she continues.

Mason's goal in highlighting these communication patterns isn't to point out "all the ways we're doing it wrong," she says. Instead, she hopes to provide resources for leaders, especially women, who are interested in changing their communication patterns.

"It's more like a kind acknowledgment: this is a thing, and if that's not serving you, maybe you want to experiment a little bit," Mason says.

She shares her top insights in her first book, "Powerfully Likeable: A Woman's Guide to Effective Communication," which debuted earlier this month.

Here are three phrases Mason recommends all professionals avoid in the workplace, along with stronger alternatives.

'It'll just take a second'

People who use this phrase are often acting on a "very kind, emotionally aware impulse" to demonstrate respect for others' time, Mason says.

In reality, prefacing your conversation with "It'll just take a second" can have the opposite effect, according to Mason.

Firstly, "you've set an expectation to the other person that this will be very quick," she says, but "literally nothing takes one second."

Providing an unrealistic time estimate can annoy or disappoint the person you're speaking to, Mason says.

"That person, a couple minutes in, is already a bit irritated because they're like, 'Wait, this was only going to be a second.'"

Moreover, the phrase also sets the expectation that whatever you have to say is minor or unimportant, Mason says, which can undercut your actual message.

A better way to articulate your request is, "I'm going to put in an hour for us next week. I really want to talk through A, B and C. Let me know if that time works for you," Mason says.

With that rephrase, "suddenly, I look like I'm coming to you with something substantive and meaty and worthy of us spending that time together," she says.

"It just does the idea — and yourself — a lot more justice to reframe it that way," she continues.

'No worries if not'

This phrase is commonly used to 'soften' a direct request, Mason says, but it's usually not factually true.

"There often is a pressing concern," she says. "It's very rare that we make an ask and genuinely think, 'Oh well, if they get back to me, we'll see.'"

Saying "No worries if not" communicates that your request is a low priority, Mason says: "It does a bit of a disservice to the ask."

For her part, when Mason hears this phrase, she mentally places that task lower on her to-do list, she says.

"If you're communicating with an exec or someone who's busy and you're telling them 'no worries if not,' and there is a worry, then we can get ourselves into a bit of an unnecessarily sticky situation," she says.

Instead, Mason suggests specifying the purpose and time frame of your request. For example, "I would appreciate if you could send me your edits by this afternoon, because the final draft is due tomorrow."

As Mason cites in her book, a psychological study from the 1970s found that people were more likely to comply with a request if they were given a reason behind it.

With that context, people are "usually happy to help," she says.

'I'm not an expert, but…'

This phrase will instantly make you seem less credible, Mason says.

According to Mason, prefacing your point with "I'm not an expert" reduces your authority and telegraphs uncertainty: "It immediately deescalates your status."

People often minimize their accomplishments when they're feeling self-conscious, Mason says, especially if they view themselves as the 'odd one out' in a group.

Whether you're the youngest in the room, or the newest to the company, "whatever that imbalance may be, we're hyper-aware of it," she says.

Being conscious of your place in the professional hierarchy isn't necessarily a bad thing, Mason says, but instead of downplaying your value, she recommends embracing the unique qualities you bring to the table.

"You weren't hired because you have the same expertise as that vice president or C-level exec," she says. "You were hired because you have your expertise."

Leaning into your strengths can be "really empowering," Mason says.

"Once you start realizing like, this is the thing I was hired for, and that is the value I can bring, and that's what they want from me, it just lets you put down a lot of that hierarchical, status-oriented anxiety."

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