How to Become Happier In Your Own Skin | Jesse Lee, MFY Community Manager | Better Man Podcast Ep. 115

Dean Pohlman: Hey guys, it’s Dean. Welcome to the Better Man podcast. Today I have our very own Jesse Lee, who is now the customer service manager for Manful Yoga.

Dean Pohlman: Very long time ago, he did not know Manful Yoga at all. And he had a totally different lifestyle. And ah we are here to talk about that transformation today. So Jesse, thank you for being here.

Jesse Lee: Thank you for having me, Dean. I appreciate it.

Dean Pohlman: Well, you have to be here, you know, because this is your job, so.

Jesse Lee: Yeah, well, it technically is, but I think I volunteered, so, like, yeah.

Dean Pohlman: I volunteer as tribute.

Jesse Lee: yeah

Dean Pohlman: Yes, you did. Thank you. so um So you started Manful Yoga back in like 2016.

Jesse Lee: I was doing the math earlier. It was either 2016 or 2017. It was seven or eight years ago. I look back, I actually found my first social media post about you.

Dean Pohlman: Oh wow.

Jesse Lee: So yeah, it was it was it’s been a while. It’s been a while.

Dean Pohlman: Okay. So at the time, and you’ve got this, you’ve got this great before and after photo where, um, by the way, Jesse is a very interesting person. He is a, he is a model. Uh, he’s done a lot of work with chubbies. Do you, do you want to go through your your dossier or like, should, should I do that?

Jesse Lee: I could. What I’ve done with Chubbies is the big one. I did some work with them and then there was Noodle Bags and then there was Wooly and then Four Days. It’s a lot of smaller brands. But yeah, the biggest one was Chubbies. They were my they were my they were my my claim to fame, my 15 minutes.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. And so it’s kind of funny within the community, we still get people who they’ll get like mailers in the, you know, and they’ll get promotional mailers or they’ll see ads and they’re like, Hey, that’s Jesse. Is Jesse in the photos?

Jesse Lee: it’s ah It’s a fun hobby. you know I and don’t want to do it for a living because you know it’s kind of stressful. But like they call me like, hey, can you come out this weekend for some photos? I’m like, sure. And then I don’t tell anyone. It’s you know kind of as eager because they take so many photos sometimes. and They may or may not use my photos. So I don’t know until like a mailer shows up and there I am. So that was that’s always funny to get.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. So, uh, and back at that time, uh, I remember you were, and you’re a giant just first of all, like Jesse’s a giant. So if you ever seen in person, just recognize that he’s a giant. Um, also if you really want to get a kick out of things, ask him to hold every day, handheld handheld objects.

Dean Pohlman: I do this every time I’m with him. I think it’s the funniest thing. Hand him like a teacup and it just looks like a toy teacup.

Jesse Lee: A coffee cup looks like an espresso cup.

Dean Pohlman: Um, it’s just, yeah. Yeah. It’s just hilarious. Um, all right. We have to get back on track here. We are, we are not staying on track. Um, so anyways, point being back when you, uh, before you started, you were a lot bigger.

Jesse Lee: Yes, when I started doing yoga with you, I was at my heaviest. I was about 330 pounds.

Dean Pohlman: Hmm.

Jesse Lee: I think I’m about 270 right now. I haven’t been on scale in a while because I try not to obsess about it. But yeah, when I started doing yoga, I was like, I was at my rock bottom in a lot of ways, including my my weight was just at its worst.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. So that was, and that was for you, that was like your oh shit moment. So can you, can you walk me through that and what all was going on and why you decided it was time for a change?

Jesse Lee: Yeah, no, definitely. Well, like I said, I i got heavy. um I wasn’t the healthiest person in my 20s, most of my 30s. I started having kids young. I didn’t really focus on my health. And so it wasn’t a big part of it, you know? So I just didn’t care. And then I, you know, started putting on weight.

Jesse Lee: Um, and then I started drinking and eating, I started drinking heavily and eating, um, as a response to, um, a big, you know, tragic loss in my life. And so that’s kind of what triggered me to just kind of get worse. Um, my best friend who committed suicide. And so.

Jesse Lee: The response to that was, I just drank and ate and drank and ate, because that’s something we did together. like we were We were famous for getting together, eating a bunch of food, and drinking a shit ton. So after losing him, that’s when things kind of got out of control.

Jesse Lee: i got like I just got really heavy and I just got, you know, yeah. So I think that, I don’t know if there was an exact moment where I decided or where I saw like my rock bottom, but I just know that I came to the realization that this needs to change now or it’s just going to keep getting worse.

Dean Pohlman: How did you manage to be in that place and have kids and be a father at the same time?

Jesse Lee: It was hard. Like it was not, like I, well, unfortunately, i you know, I had a, I have a very patient partner, like my wife, you know, honestly, in hindsight very well could have just left me multiple times.

Jesse Lee: She could have been like, you know, this is fucking stupid. I’m done. But she, she stuck with me through it, you know, through some of my really hard times. And I was younger, like the thought of drinking now, like I, the thought of having a hangover because I’ve been sober now for seven years.

Jesse Lee: So the thought of having a hangover now, I don’t know how I did it for so long. I don’t know how I got to the point where I could kill two bottles of wine in one night.

Dean Pohlman: Mm hmm.

Jesse Lee: So it’s, it’s, it’s one of those things where like, it’s a slow gradual thing. You know, it’s like the, what does it boil in a frog? That’s kind of what it gets to until you’re like, holy cow, how did I get to this place?

Dean Pohlman: yeah

Jesse Lee: And you know, my, my relationship with my children probably suffered. Um, I probably wasn’t the most attentive or the most compassionate or, you know, all kinds of things, uh, because, you know, I was just not my the best version of myself.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: So how did that change happen? Walk me through those steps.

Jesse Lee: Well, my well um my wife joined, you know, she she she joined the challenge gym and she started working out. And I decided, i’m like you know what, i’m gonna i’m gonna I’m gonna make some changes. And so it wasn’t even like the initial decision wasn’t, I’m gonna make these big leftis and life changes. I’m like, I’m gonna start small. I’m gonna start eating better. I’m gonna cut back on the booze. And then I didn’t know what I wanted to do exercise wise. I had done yoga before, like I’ve been doing yoga for 20 years.

Jesse Lee: But it wasn’t something that I did consistently. And I did what everyone else does. I Googled, like, yoga for men. I wanted to just start something simple because I knew that, like, if I started running or lifting weights, that I would probably overdo it.

Jesse Lee: And so I decided to start slow. I Googled yoga for men. And, you know, one of the first things I saw was, was you. And I started doing yoga with you. And it was this, like, it was an early morning thing.

Dean Pohlman: Hmm.

Jesse Lee: I got up at like five o’clock every morning and I did yoga with you. It was this, like,

Jesse Lee: it was It was like and to this day, like I’ll listen, I’ll hear our theme music or your voice and certain routines. And it’s like, it takes me back to those moments where I’m like, I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to do it, but I knew that I i had to make changes. and And yeah, so it was just, it was on a whim that I decided to do yoga. And it was kind of like my gateway into being a healthier, more fitness-centric person was like deciding I need to do something. And that was the first step.

Jesse Lee: And then, and then there was a quote somewhere that I saw on one of your videos.

Dean Pohlman: so

Jesse Lee: It was that, that Taoism quote about like the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step or the first step that like, it sounds kind of cheesy now, but at the time I was like, that’s important.

Dean Pohlman: So yeah, right.

Jesse Lee: So.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. So, I mean, you actually led me into my next question here, but when you were, you know, lying there 5am, not wanting to wake up, what was, what was your motivation?

Jesse Lee: Okay.

Dean Pohlman: What did you tell yourself in order to get yourself out of bed and and do these, do the workouts?

Jesse Lee: That’s a good question. Um, cause at that point I hadn’t done the find your why exercise.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: So, but when I finally did, we can get to that later. I realized that it had been my why the entire time.

Dean Pohlman: Hmm.

Jesse Lee: Cause I saw that, you know, I had this supportive partner and I had these loving children and I had all of these things to better myself for, you know, and I can’t be, and this is something that I really feel strongly about now.

Dean Pohlman: Mm-hmm.

Jesse Lee: I can’t be the verse, the best version of myself for them. unless i try hard you know there’s that other saying you know you can’t pour from an empty glass so i realized like i need to get up because i need it better myself because i want to be there for them and that was like a big motivator for me

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. Um, and we can just do the start with the, the, the find your way exercise right now or talk about it. So the find your way exercise is something that I recommend with everyone who is new to Manful Yoga. And even if you’re not doing Manful Yoga, this is something that I recommend everybody does at some point.

Dean Pohlman: it’s a um It’s a deeply personal, very mindful exercise that involves you examining yourself and digging deeper into understanding your motivation and getting really clear on the big why, the big motivator behind why you do anything. And the way that you get to this is you just continually ask yourself,

Dean Pohlman: why to, um, to get to this deeply personal and very emotional reasoning. So, you know, in this case, Jesse, we would say, you know, why do you, why do you want to be healthier?

Jesse Lee: um I can give you my exact answers. it was um yeah um Why I want to be healthier?

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. And he’s already done the work. So it goes, yeah.

Jesse Lee: Because I ah want to live longer.

Dean Pohlman: Mm hmm.

Jesse Lee: And well, so, so when the first time you asked me to be the better, the first time you asked me to find your why that you and I went through this exercise was when I finally met you. A person was in 2019.

Jesse Lee: We did the, I was at your first be the better you retreat.

Dean Pohlman: Yes. Right.

Jesse Lee: And, um, and the fine, the find your why exercise was my biggest takeaway. Cause it was like, why am I here? Because I want to but get better because I want to get healthier. You want to get healthier because I want to live longer.

Jesse Lee: And you know, well, why do you want to live longer? Well, I want to be there. I want to be there for my kids, my grandkids. Well, why do you want to, why do you want to be there for your kids or your grandkids? And the root of it was because I felt like, you know, cause I have a complicated relationship with my, my own parents. I felt like my father’s hadn’t been there for me. It’s like, that was like the core of my why. And, and I looked back over my, and my, and my wellness journeys that had always been that.

Jesse Lee: through the find your why exercise has always been like my reconformation like if I’m ever struggling I go through it and the answer is always the same so it’s it’s I have I have the I had a journal that weekend and I remember I wrote it down and I have that piece of paper still it’s my nice little why I do what I do

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah, I remember going out there with you. I think that was one of the first times that I had done it in person. Also, it was one of the few times that like, not the few times, like it was one of the times that it worked. Cause sometimes you do the Y exercise and it takes like an hour and a half and people just kind of just go on and on about something. And we’re just like.

Dean Pohlman: We’re not there yet. Keep going, keep going. But like, you know, you’re you just happened to be like the the the perfect case where you actually got through everything. And I remember you were answering it and I think you didn’t really realize what it was until you got there.

Dean Pohlman: You just realized that the deeper you went, you’re like, oh shit, this is really uncomfortable.

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: And you were like, you were you were going to say it, you wanted to say it, but you were also really scared of saying it. You were like, yeah I could i could was looking at you and I could i could just see like,

Dean Pohlman: you want me to say this in front of everybody. you know um So it’s so hard to do in person. you know Fortunately, you can also do this in you know in your own home with maybe just one other person there.

Dean Pohlman: um It is really more powerful when you do it as a community. But um but yeah, I think that was um ah really cool seeing.

Jesse Lee: Yeah, it was an eye-opening situation.

Dean Pohlman: i was

Jesse Lee: it was It was like a light bulb moment and a little free association because you can’t think about it too much. It’s weird. You got to just go with it and see what happens next.

Dean Pohlman: So that was the motivation. So what enabled you to be consistent? Was it thinking about the motivation or were there certain things that you did?

Jesse Lee: thinking about it. I think so. The consistency part, so it got easier. So that’s the thing. Like when you start doing a lot of activities as a heavier person, so slowly, shortly. So that’s where it started. Like I started, I stopped drinking temporarily and then I started eating better. So it was, it was, that was, you know, that was it. I changed my diet a lot and I stopped drinking and then Like very shortly after that, yeah I got more energy. And so like the immediate, there were immediate results, like over like the, there was a lot of things that took time, like the weight loss, especially, but you know, the immediate results of just spending some more time being.

Jesse Lee: mindful about what I was eating and drinking and you know mindful about my my daily activities it kind of was like that instant inspiration like oh this is feeling good let’s keep doing this and so like I focused on those like oh this is I know how it feels so even during that time when I had those rough mornings I’m like no you’re gonna get up and you’re gonna go for a run you know that you’re gonna feel really good afterwards

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: So you feel like shit right now, cause you’re just waking up, but you know, five miles from now, you’re going to feel really good. So I focused on, you know, that, that, that, that feeling of accomplishment of knowing that I was doing something.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. So what did you, how long did it take for you to notice that, you know, there were benefits to this. Um, and and what were those benefits?

Jesse Lee: I think, well, like the biggest benefit, you know, was probably the weight loss, you know, but then there’s a lot of that comes with that, you know, especially for men, you know, it’s easier. Well, it was easier at the time of my mid thirties to lose weight because, you know, I didn’t, I stopped drinking soda, cut out all the sugar.

Jesse Lee: I had a lot of protein. I had a lot of vegetables.

Dean Pohlman: Mm-hmm.

Jesse Lee: And then, you know, the booze was cut out too. So it was like, Yeah. So the weight loss was fund by the way, but then there seemed to go along with that. Like you’d start losing weight and your sex drive goes up. You know, you start losing weight and you sleep better.

Dean Pohlman: Hmm.

Jesse Lee: And so like, there was a lot of things that kind of went hand in hand. And then like, I just felt like I felt like a happier person. And then that comes in everything else.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: You know, you feel like a happier person. You have, you know, you can help improve your relationships with your family and your friends. And so it was, it was everything just kind of went hand in hand, I guess.

Dean Pohlman: When did you notice that upward trajectory beginning?

Jesse Lee: Oh, uh, probably within the first month, like it it took a good month of like constant work.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: So I would say the first month was like at the end of that first month, I was able to actually see some results and feel some things.

Dean Pohlman: Uh-huh.

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Was that first month hard in terms of making the shifts?

Jesse Lee: Yes, like yeah I do. Like to this day, I remember some really tough mornings of getting up at 5 a.m. because at the time I wasn’t working and I was just a stay-at-home dad. Like I had three kids at home, all really young.

Jesse Lee: I was managing a household. I was volunteering at the school. And so I had to get up and do it early every morning because if I didn’t, it wouldn’t happen.

Dean Pohlman: Hmm.

Jesse Lee: And so, um, it’s, yeah, there were, there were hard mornings that I, I was just struggling, but I remember just, nope, we’re going to stick with it. We got to keep doing it. just show up and do what you can and that’s that’s that was it yeah I was like no you don’t have a choice you can get your ass out of bed you’re gonna get done because you know it’s gonna you know you know it’s gonna it’s gonna pay off a little bit yeah I think so I think I was doing yoga like five six maybe seven days a week um and then I had a I had a running buddy who I was also

Dean Pohlman: Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you force yourself to do it for sounds like a while.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. So, so, you know, you’re, yeah and how often were you doing the workouts every day? Mm-hmm.

Dean Pohlman: And this was one of the like, this was yoga boost, right? This was like one of the, this is like my first DVD program I ever released.

Jesse Lee: Yeah, yeah, it was it was it would would like the first thing I did was a free workout that I found on like Amazon Prime or something Then I bought the DVD.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Okay. Yep. Mm-hmm.

Jesse Lee: I Did that yoga workout of like a week or two? I was like, I need I need more and so I bought the DVD and I followed the DVD forever and then beyond that I finally was like, hey, I need to find more would and I found that the yoga was after the DVD But I started with that and I started with that one workout.

Jesse Lee: It was a yoga was a yoga boost I don’t remember what it was but um

Dean Pohlman: There’s like yoga yoga start, yoga strength, yoga stretch, yoga stretch and de-stress, yoga sharpen.

Jesse Lee: I still have the DVD somewhere. I don’t know the last time I actually used my DVD player.

Dean Pohlman: um I’m glad, because for a while there, you were like, oh, you’re like DVDs.

Jesse Lee: that

Dean Pohlman: I’m like, Jesse, you need to join the 2020s. Please stop using your DVD player.

Jesse Lee: I know. And then, and then, yeah, yeah. And now like,

Dean Pohlman: But if the power goes out, I’ll be able to use my, if I lose internet, I’ll be able to use my DVDs.

Jesse Lee: yeah

Jesse Lee: ah Yeah, so no that was but that was the catalyst. It was a stepping stone process. I had to start small and simple. and It was that first one and then when I realized I need more, I bought the DVD and then I need more, you know it’s just it was it’s it’s a process. I always feel like it’s it’s kind of when it comes to fitness, that’s how it has to be. like You have to start small because If you start big, you end up like getting overwhelmed or burnt out or you hurt yourself.

Dean Pohlman: Mhm.

Jesse Lee: So for me, it was a nice it was a nice progression because that’s what it needs to be.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: The journey is the thing.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. So um I’m just going to say, so now you you recently started, you’ve you’ve been certified as a yoga instructor for a while now.

Jesse Lee: Yes.

Jesse Lee: ah

Dean Pohlman: You just started doing classes um in Ventura. So take me from you’re doing workouts on your DVD to you decide to become a yoga instructor.

Dean Pohlman: And what was some of the, what were some of the you know the fitness ventures that happened between then and now.

Jesse Lee: along the way.

Jesse Lee: Well, like I said, you know, my catalyst for being a more healthy person was, you know, trying, like I, first time I did yoga was about 20 years ago and I had done it on and off. I had a DVD and a mat that was way too small because you know, I need a big mat, a big, a big man sized pork mat.

Dean Pohlman: um i’m just laugh I’m just laughing at like how comically small a standard yoga mat would be for you.

Jesse Lee: yeah

Dean Pohlman: Because like even for me, I’m 5’10”, and that thing is like and that thing is like nowhere near big enough for me.

Jesse Lee: I use that thing for

Dean Pohlman: So like for you, you’d just be ridiculous.

Jesse Lee: Once one of those things, you don’t know better you you know better when you figure it out. Like I had pictures of me using that mat, didn’t know any difference. And then now, you know, now I’ve got a big mat, like there’s no chance in hell I’m gonna use that the whole time you think.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: But yeah, so when I started losing weight, started feeling healthier, I had been a highly games athlete for a while. So that actually kind of struggled, suffered a little bit because it’s it’s a strength sport.

Jesse Lee: So I needed the weight, you know? So it was, it was it didn’t, help that I was losing weight, um but like so so but I did get better at that. I did that more often. I got really heavy into running. A friend of mine invited me to go for a run, and I had that support system. I had a little small running group that I ran with quite regularly, and so that was that was that was a lot of fun. So yeah, I started trying new things. like I wasn’t athletic in high school. I wasn’t athletic as a kid. you know It was my 30s where I’m like, I need to get in shape, and so like

Jesse Lee: I started doing that more often. and So it was it was kind of a progression of just trying new things and what works and what doesn’t. I took up swimming for a while. um And then, yeah, I always went back to yoga.

Jesse Lee: Yoga has always been kind of a common theme for all of it. like I’ve always wanted to work on my mobility, my range of motion, my flexibility. And so it’s like the foundation, it’s like the foundation the the like building blocks that I always have to go back to no matter what I’m trying.

Jesse Lee: like I like to go hiking. you know Yoga helps me get better at that.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. Did you, did you like hiking before?

Jesse Lee: so

Jesse Lee: So I’ve always liked, I’ve always liked hiking, but I didn’t do it as much.

Dean Pohlman: Okay. Yeah.

Jesse Lee: So it’s always been a part of my life.

Dean Pohlman: Cause I, cause I know like your, your, your dream would probably be to like solely conduct hiking slash yoga trips, like every other weekend.

Jesse Lee: Oh, God.

Dean Pohlman: And then that just, that would just be your life.

Jesse Lee: Yes.

Dean Pohlman: Right.

Jesse Lee: That would, like, or can someone just pay me to hike? Like, I don’t have to create content, I just hike. So, yeah, that’s that’s the dream.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: So universe, I’m putting that out there. um Yeah, so that’s, I like i like doing that.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: Yes, like Manful

Dean Pohlman: Manful Yoga Hike, Hiking Yoga Trip, led by Jesse.

Jesse Lee: Yoga Adventures.

Dean Pohlman: Coming 2025.

Jesse Lee: Yeah. So that was, it was like a journey of discovery through what I liked and like what works and what doesn’t. And then, you know, I kind of, I got to a point where I’m like, you know, I had, I had thought about years of like looking into like in my certification for yoga.

Jesse Lee: And then I finally decided it was about two years ago. I’m like, you know what? It’ll probably help my own practice. You know, it helps me understand it better. And, you know, working for customer service for a yoga brand helps me understand the product even better. So I did it kind of for.

Jesse Lee: You know, personal reasons to just kind of better my understanding. And then, you know, I feel strongly about yoga. Like I really understand how it can be a beneficial thing for your mental health as well as your physical health.

Jesse Lee: You know, and I tell everyone all the time, like I, I think my head benefits better from yoga more than my body. Like my body feels great, but if I miss, if I miss a workout, you know, if I miss doing a flow or something, it, you know, it messes my head more.

Dean Pohlman: Hmm.

Jesse Lee: Like I’m, I’m.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: Irritable I’m anxious. I mean all the things so um It’s so for me it’s it was it was part of the this self-discovery of just you know Well, what else can I provide the world? And so I don’t know I I know that yoga has been super beneficial to me and so as part of like well, you know if I ever get the chance to Help other people in that realm this could be part of that because you know, I strongly believe more people are more people should be doing yoga at least give it a try you know so that’s that’s probably where i’m at now i

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. So let’s talk about that. So you’ve, you’ve started, you know, you’ve, you’re now teaching classes. Your, your brand is called thick and flow. Um, what do you, what do you hope to bring into the, I guess, how are you hoping to help people with that? What’s the, what’s the vision behind that?

Jesse Lee: don’t know if i have an exact vision which is horrible to say and admit i just

Dean Pohlman: I don’t, I don’t know what the, I don’t, my vision, like, I don’t know. I haven’t nailed down my vision. I’m like, I’m heading in the direction, but like, if you had to tell me like, what is my exact vision? I’d be like, uh, ask me tomorrow.

Jesse Lee: i want people I want people to be happier in their own skin.

Dean Pohlman: Hmm.

Jesse Lee: That’s it. And like for me, when I was at 330 pounds, there was a lot of like there’s a lot of self-hate there. There was a lot of regret. There was a lot of shame. And so the yoga helped me be okay with that and know that it’s a stepping stone towards a better self.

Jesse Lee: But it’s hard to start that journey without a little bit of self-love. You know, and so like a lot of people, I know that a lot of people will like there’s, they can be driven by, you know, the pain, like no pain, no gain.

Dean Pohlman: Mm hmm.

Jesse Lee: I’m just going to like push through it and that, that inspires them. But I’m, I wasn’t that kind of person. Like I needed, I needed a little bit of ah a gentle push start.

Dean Pohlman: You needed nurturing a nurturing push, a loving push.

Jesse Lee: I think. Yeah. And so I felt like, yeah. Well, and and plus in the situation that I was in, you know, after losing my friend Brett, and I was just in this horrible place where I needed to find some self acceptance and know that, okay, we’re not the best version of ourselves and that’s okay right now.

Dean Pohlman: Mm.

Jesse Lee: And so the mindful work, like, you know, just taking some time to, you know, shut the world off and, you know, work on my breathing, work on my mindfulness, work on my, you know, my movement was kind of, it’s kind of it for me.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: yeah

Dean Pohlman: So that was actually, you know, that was a thing that we covered in the last interview that I did with Anthony O’Leary, who’s a ah guy who has a similar, um, similar story.

Dean Pohlman: He’s lost like, uh, I think he’s lost like 85 pounds or something.

Jesse Lee: Yeah. Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Um, so big weight loss story there, but he also talked about, and similar to you, he started with the get up, you gotta go do your workout, like mentality, right?

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: A little bit of like. I called it the dark side in the last episode, but like the negative, re the negative motivation.

Jesse Lee: yeah

Dean Pohlman: But then he also mentioned like over time he learned to think of his motivation from a place of positivity. And not only did that make his workouts Easier to do but it also he also also made him like a more positive person in every other aspect of his life So, you know, I mean and that’s what I hear, you know that I I know this about you personally But you also see this throughout your interactions with people in the Manful Yoga community, you know in our engaged community people just people love you People love how uplifting you are

Jesse Lee: Mm-hmm. Mm.

Jesse Lee: Well, I try. I, um, like I said, like when it comes to to yoga and to man flow yoga,

Jesse Lee: I know the struggle, but I also know what’s at the end. like The journey is never going to end. I’m always going to be on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement, but I know that it gets better. so that’s that is That’s my approach to to our customer service and our customer experience, is that this journey is really hard. like The beginning is really hard, especially when you’re at a place where you’re not happy.

Jesse Lee: and so I don’t know, maybe it’s my way of sharing happiness.

Dean Pohlman: And guys, guys, thank God that Jesse is running our customer service and not me because.

Dean Pohlman: I don’t have that same level of compassion and patience. Um, I’m working on it. I’m getting better because you know, I have kids and I have to do it now. But, um, yeah, I think, thank God Jesse is there. Um, because you guys are probably all better off for it.

Jesse Lee: that Hey, we all have our strengths. It’s okay. But no, so like, I don’t know. I don’t i know. That’s that’s it. like i just I know that it’s going to be a hard journey for most people getting started.

Jesse Lee: But I just want them to know that you got to stick with it because you’re going to be so much happier. You’re going to be happy to do it.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. So let’s talk about the importance of that community to just how how how has the how has community helped you with your overall health and wellness.

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: Well, so tell me in a bunch of ways. so you know I’ve had i’ve had i’ve had um you know friends that helped me along the way. like I had that running buddy who He was, it was funny cause like it’s, it’s different versions of community will give you different forms of support.

Jesse Lee: You know, like I have my wife, my kids, and there was going to be this real loving supportive, you know, you got this and that’s, you know, that’s always good to have. My running buddy on the other hand, if I, if I slow down or stop too much, he would give me shit every time.

Jesse Lee: And in the moment, like I hated him. I hated him, but like, I remember my first five mile run at, you know, I think I had lost a little weight at over 300 pounds.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: Fucking hated it. but I felt so good after, and he kept showing up.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. Right.

Jesse Lee: Even the mornings I sucked, he would run ahead of me and he’d stop at a corner and start doing push-ups and wait till I got there. and um And so it was good to have that.

Dean Pohlman: What a, what a douchebag just doing pushups instead of waiting for you.

Jesse Lee: He was waiting, but he was doing push-ups.

Dean Pohlman: Look how much more strong I am than you.

Jesse Lee: But it it it helped, it helped. And then, and then you know, I had had that, I had, you know, my highly games friends, I was still practicing And then at the time, I also had the Manville Yoga community and I share, I’m sharing my my journey there as well.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: And it was, it was, it was, it was about, you know, sharing your struggle and connecting to people that had the same struggle because you feel less alone when you know, you, you, when you’re doing this.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: And and this was like right before the pandemic. And so.

Dean Pohlman: Which is when the Facebook group got really important right there.

Jesse Lee: Yeah. And so it was up till that point because.

Dean Pohlman: Like, oh, this is my friend’s group now.

Jesse Lee: Yeah. Cause then, you know, 2019, I went to the first be the better you and probably got to meet you. And then I started working for you at the beginning of 2020.

Dean Pohlman: That was funny because like the pandemic literally started the day afterwards. um

Jesse Lee: Yeah, it was, it was right then.

Dean Pohlman: Cause everyone was flying home and they were like, um, you need to stay home for a month. And we were kind of like, I was like the beginning of a war. And we’re just like, what’s happening?

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: I don’t know. Everyone go home.

Jesse Lee: and And the community, like especially then, you know, we can segue to that, like during the beginning of the pandemic, I still, I continued having that community through the Facebook group. um I had signed up for a half marathon. It was supposed to happen Memorial Day weekend 2020. I signed up in like January. They canceled it, but i I was stuck at home with three kids working from home.

Dean Pohlman: Oh my god.

Jesse Lee: homeschooling, my wife was in the hospital, it was fucking awful, but I kept training and I ran the memorial day, happened with them by myself. But it it got me through it, like that community and continuing to focus on my health, like no one no one came out of that unscathed, like the pandemic definitely, you know, was hard on me and my family. um But at the same time, I realized some of the things that helped me through it was, you know, continuing to do my yoga and my fitness and connect to the community because at that point I was working for you, but the community aspect is my, is probably my favorite part of my job, is, you know, connecting to to our community through Facebook and, you know, engage and stuff and just seeing people people’s, people’s journeys and sharing with them.

Dean Pohlman: Mm hmm.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. I, uh, no, I think you, you shine there. I mean, you do a great job with, with everything that you do, but you know, you do a great job with the community. So my question, my next question, my final question before I move on to the rapid fire section is what is the next thing that you want to work on in your fitness? What’s the next big challenge for you or the next journey?

Jesse Lee: So in 2020, you know, the world fell apart. That was my last highly games competition because, you know, I had to take a backseat. um I haven’t picked up anything since then. So it was March of 2020 or February 2020. I just signed up for the highly games here in Ventura.

Jesse Lee: because I realized how much I miss it. I have a lot of really good friends that I consider family in that community. And so I decided.

Dean Pohlman: Can you participate in the Highland games without slamming a beer after you throw a log?

Jesse Lee: That’s going to be funny because it’s one of those sports where people like athletes will have a Guinness and a cigar. You don’t see that in any other sports. It’s like my pre-workout and my post-workout.

Jesse Lee: the So I signed up for that in October. And so I’ve actually started weightlifting. I’ve never been like a regular weightlifter. I own weights. I use them occasionally, but I needed to like focus on something.

Jesse Lee: So I started doing that, you know, because of the Engage Weightlifting program. um And so I think that’s kind of a short term goal is to try to get back some of the strength that I had.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: And just see where it goes. You know, I also have to be honest with myself, you know, I’m a little bit older. I’m a little bit, uh, not as athletic.

Dean Pohlman: How old are you?

Jesse Lee: Um, 41 41.

Dean Pohlman: 42? 41. Okay.

Jesse Lee: So like, I haven’t thrown since, you know, it’s been like four years. So yeah, so I guess the next, uh,

Dean Pohlman: Yeah, we got to, got to find a video of this, but like literally he’s like throwing a how much does the the tree, you you just throw giant logs, right? I mean, how much do they weigh?

Jesse Lee: the, the, the camber that I tossed, the biggest one I flipped was, I think it was like 120 pounds.

Dean Pohlman: Okay. Oh, my wife’s a hundred hundred pounds.

Jesse Lee: like 18 feet but so yeah that’s my next my next goal is to just try to get back to that and so um’ but I’m a kind of a goal oriented person it’s nice to have something to focus on kind of like when I did that that half marathon or when it went backpacking it did 60 miles earlier this year I did prep work because to me like it’s hard like

Dean Pohlman: I can do that. Give me a log. I want to try it.

Jesse Lee: to work I like to work towards something, but then when I get there, I have to keep working. So so yeah, that’s my short-term goal is to try to see if I could fit that into my current life.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: And you like you said, do a little bit of teaching. you know I only teach you three days a week now, three classes. It’s nice sharing from my personal journey of yoga to see how it can help other people’s lives.

Jesse Lee: you know but you know It’s hard because it’s one of those things the yoga still has. People struggle with it sometimes. They’re like, well, I don’t know. Like, well, come give it a try. You’ll see. A hundred percent of the time you’re going to walk away from yoga class feeling better. I think like there’s going to be some improvements. You’re going to feel you’re going to, you know, you’re going to feel better in your own skin. You’re going to, you know, I don’t know. So just, just, just, that’s kind of part of my journey right now too.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. Cool. Um, all right. Rapid fire questions. Uh, what do you think is a one habit belief or mindset that has helped you the most in terms of your overall health and wellness?

Jesse Lee: All right.

Jesse Lee: one album That I’m worth it. You know, that I’m worth the effort that I deserve.

Dean Pohlman: Hmm.

Jesse Lee: I deserve it.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: So like just a positive attitude, like, you know what, you’re not too old. You’re not too this, you’re not too bad. And so it’s like having the positive attitude.

Dean Pohlman: I’m a beautiful, handsome giant and I deserve it.

Jesse Lee: for

Jesse Lee: Exactly. I’m going to write that on a post. I’m going to write that on a post-it. Let’s go on my next post-it.

Dean Pohlman: No, that’s going to be a frame 18 by 24 photo that deserves more than a post-it.

Jesse Lee: I’ll hang it above my but but my desk.

Dean Pohlman: Yes, whenever you get mad at me, just remember, just just just look at that photo instead and then think.

Jesse Lee: There’ll be in quotes.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah, but it’ll it’ll also say like attributed to me. So Dean Pullman below it.

Jesse Lee: Exactly. In this quote, we’ll depalm it.

Dean Pohlman: That will be thrown out the window very quickly.

Jesse Lee: ah I want that in my I want that in my very own special deep almond calendar but Oh Shit supposed to rapid in-fire overlooks wrong Ah

Dean Pohlman: ah Great. Yeah. um What’s one thing that you do for your health that you think is overlooked or undervalued?

Dean Pohlman: Something for, one thing for your health that you believe is often overlooked or undervalued.

Jesse Lee: How do I describe it? Not free time, but time to do nothing. um but i’m a I have a hard time sitting still. So if i if I take time to do nothing, I feel like I’m not being productive.

Jesse Lee: And so being able to just pause and turn everything off. Just be like, you know what?

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: i’m gonna I’m gonna just pause. And that’s why I kind of rely on hiking because it forces me to be like, I don’t have a phone signal. I can’t talk to anybody.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: Um, and so it’s like an active meditation kind of thing. And so it shouldn’t be that extreme. I should be able to do that without having to go for a 10 mile hike, but just being okay with, you know what? I don’t have to be productive all the time.

Jesse Lee: I can just sit here and enjoy rest. I guess, I guess rest, rest is undervalued and underappreciated and underused.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah, totally agree.

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: What’s the most stressful part of your day-to-day life?

Jesse Lee: but

Dean Pohlman: I’m laughing because I know what it is.

Jesse Lee: but No, no. Oh, well, so up until recently, so my youngest went into kindergarten and the most stressful part, and it’s not because being a parent is stressful. Part of that is, but then part of it is like the doubt in yourself. So most stressful part of my day, it’s usually been like taking care of my kids and making sure things are done. But then on top of that, the self doubt, like what am I doing or not?

Jesse Lee: So, so yeah, so I think the most stressful part of my day is, you know, striving to be in it. It almost sounds like that it’s kind of fabricated or like self created, like striving to be the best version of myself as a parent and just making sure that like I’m doing everything that I can do for them.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: So like,

Dean Pohlman: It sounds like it’s the expectations you put on yourself.

Jesse Lee: Yeah, yeah like the yeah yeah that that is it, because you know i’m I’m working hard for my why, and then like was it enough? And that kind of goes back into my whole you know productive thing, not being able to, like is it is it enough?

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: Is this good enough? And so like I stress a lot about that.

Dean Pohlman: I’ve had that journaling session. That sounds familiar. Yeah.

Jesse Lee: so and then And then juggling in general, you know because then because then on top of that, you know i have I work, and so I have a full-time job. And then you know I’m trying, you know I teach a little bit on the side. so You know, just the the time management is is stressful and it’s something that I think everyone goes through though.

Jesse Lee: So it’s like, you just have to, you know, it’s like, yeah you have ah you have a bowl full of marbles, some of glass, some of plastic. And the other day you have to, you know, you’re not going to be able to do everything. So you have to realize like what’s worth, what’s worth dropping and doing tomorrow.

Dean Pohlman: Right.

Jesse Lee: And that happens a lot. And I have to be okay with that. Like this isn’t going to happen today. So at the end of the world, take care of it tomorrow.

Dean Pohlman: yeah What is your best piece of advice for men who want to be healthier?

Jesse Lee: So prioritizing.

Jesse Lee: do it now like right now because you’re not going to be this young again you know um yeah just you gotta to get started it’s this i feel like for me personally there’s always been a lot of waiting like oh i’ll do it then i’ll do it then well it’s it’s it’s no time is better than the present because you’re not going to get this young again you know it’s like there’s this there’s that quote like 20 years from now you’re gonna look back at yourself and be like this was

Dean Pohlman: o

Jesse Lee: Like you should have appreciated it more, you know, youth is fleeting. And so I feel like that’s for men is probably good piece of advice is like, now’s the time to start. Like quit waiting. Don’t wait until this or that, because it’s, it’s never, never a better time than right now.

Jesse Lee: With that, you know, it’s, it’s kind of an easy answer. It’s, and it may not be that easy because you know, we, we’ve got a lot going on, especially if you know, you’re, you’re struggling with things, but yeah, get started.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. I think, I agree with that.

Jesse Lee: Just do it.

Dean Pohlman: I think there’s always, you know, it’s never going to be a perfect time. And that’s what I, you know, I, a lot of, a lot of the what I put in, you know, the, the, the content that I create is like, guys, there’s never going to be a perfect time.

Jesse Lee: yeah

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Like never, you just have to do what you can, what you have now. And you can build upon that later.

Jesse Lee: Yeah. If you make excuses now, you’re going to make excuses later. There’s always going to be an excuse.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: That’s true.

Jesse Lee: So.

Dean Pohlman: Um, cool. Well, Jesse, thank you, uh, for taking time out of your workday to, to have a meeting with your boss.

Jesse Lee: Thank you, dude.

Jesse Lee: ah

Dean Pohlman: Uh, I appreciate it.

Jesse Lee: yeah

Dean Pohlman: Um, so Jesse is on social media. Uh, what is what it? What a thick and flat spell it out for me.

Jesse Lee: thick and thick and flow because I’m a thick guy and I like to flow th ik th no not cc no those are the actual thing no it’s not it’s th ik and so the a and d f l o w so thick and flow

Dean Pohlman: T-H-I-C-C-C-K. It’s not, okay.

Jesse Lee: I’ve had some people that are like, well, what does that mean?

Dean Pohlman: Okay.

Jesse Lee: I’m just, I’m a big person.

Dean Pohlman: It means what it means, don’t question it, just follow it.

Jesse Lee: Well, it’s pretty straightforward, but you know.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. And if you guys, uh, if you guys email help at Manful Yoga, or if you, um, or if you post something in the Facebook group, uh, for the Manful Yoga community, it’s likely that Jesse, uh, Jesse will see it or has some, some indirect or or direct role in it.

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Um, yeah, I’d also say, well, I can’t say this, but you know, is it okay if people contact you through the Facebook group if they see you there?

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Jesse Lee: Yeah, I don’t care. I get DMs all the time. You can you can DM me anywhere. You can email me at jesseatmaniflaoga.com. I am always there to to to answer questions and just kind of talk about my journey or your journey.

Jesse Lee: So yeah, I’m there.

Dean Pohlman: Cool. And as ah someone who is protecting Jesse, I will say, please keep the content focused on what we do with Manful Yoga.

Jesse Lee: Yes, please, I’m a happily married man.

Dean Pohlman: Yes.

Jesse Lee: I’ll leave it at that.

Dean Pohlman: Yes. Um, cool. All right. Well, uh, guys, I hope you enjoyed listening to this episode. Jesse is a pleasure to have a, you know, a conversation with you that didn’t have to do with work really well, you know, in the normal way that we do it.

Jesse Lee: Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Um, so yeah, I felt like, uh, I felt like this really, it was really nice for me. Um, and I appreciate it. So thank you for everything that you do for, for Manful Yoga and, you know, for being a great example of, uh, of a dad.

Jesse Lee: yeah

Dean Pohlman: fur for me, you have like eight more kids than I do. um but But yeah. um So yeah, ah Jesse, thanks again.

Jesse Lee: and Thank you, Dean, and you know thank you for creating Manful Yoga. I’ve said it before, you know you what you created helped me through some of the rough times of my life, so thank you.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re being open to it. Um, all right, guys. Well, I hope this episode, uh, inspired you to be a better man. I hope it gives you some ideas about some of the setbacks that you might encounter in your own fitness journey and how to motivate yourself when things get tough. Um, and also maybe reinforces the importance of, uh, of, uh, of community and getting support in your own life for this thing. So, uh, thank you again for listening and I’ll see you on the next episode.

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