How to Protect Your Parents From Elder Fraud and Scams

Credit: tartanparty

Losses from elder fraud, including tech-support scams, “grandma, I’m in jail” texts, and romance scams have reached nearly $2 billion a year. There are a depressing number of people out there trying to rip off your grandma, which means you really should be doing something to help prevent the older people in your life from falling victim to scams and racket—even if it’s just to safeguard your own inheritance. These soulless jackals are everywhere, and you may be your pop (or your pop-pop's) the last line of defense against them.

And that’s just patently illegal fraud. There’s no telling how much money our nations Meemaws and Peepaws have lost to barely legal near-frauds like car repair insurance schemes and donations to scammy (but legal) charities.  Here are some tips that might help you keep your older parents or grandparents' life-savings from the hands of hackers, scammers, and con-artists. 

Understand who falls victim to elder fraud

The stereotype of an elder fraud victim as an isolated, frail, depressed, or uneducated person isn’t supported by research—studies show almost the opposite to be true: Healthy and active seniors are as susceptible to scams as anyone, while the less-educated are no more likely to be scammed than the educated; depression and isolation aren’t indicators of victimhood either. In fact, the one trait victims of elder fraud are most likely to share is psychological well-being. So just because your elderly parents are hopeful and seem to be on top of things, that doesn’t mean they won’t lose their house to a “reverse mortgage” or give their savings to crypto scammers.

There’s reason to think that a good number of scams are successful due to simple manners instead of a lack of understanding of technology or a lack of education. Older people may be more likely to stay on the phone longer with a stranger because they’re more likely to be polite, and the longer anyone talks to a con artist, the more likely they are to be victimized.

How to have a conversation about elder fraud without ruining your relationship

Talking to a parent or any older person you’re close to about money is essential, but it can be extremely difficult. The role-reversal involved in warning an elder about predators and casting yourself as their protector can cause serious family strife—no one want to hear that they can’t be trusted to make their own financial decisions, especially from their child. When you do have this conversation, aim instead for understanding and cooperation.

“Start with your own situation,” Elizabeth Loewy, the former founding chief of the Elder Abuse Unit in the New York County District Attorney's Office, told Fidelity. “You might say, 'I want an extra set of eyes on my financial accounts. Would you mind getting alerts if something happens? I can do the same for you.' You make it a 2-way street.”

Explain the basics of how financial scams work

While there are too many scams and shady businesses out there to detail every variation, but recognizing a few common threads can help your relative defend themselves against most of these schemes. So explain the following:

No reputable business or agency will request payment in gift cards. Because they’re hard to trace, easy to acquire, and can be sent internationally, gift cards are the preferred payment method for tons of illegal scams of all kinds.

It’s always OK to say, “let me call you back.” Many scams would fail if victims had a chance to think about what they were doing, so scammers and salespeople inject urgency into their pitches. Make sure your parent knows that they don’t have to do anything right away. Try to convince them to ask you about it before they do anything.

Law enforcement doesn’t make phone calls if you’re “in trouble.” Neither does the IRS. Make sure they know that government agencies will not call out of the blue and threaten people. 

Show them media that makes your point for you

Sometimes, it’s better to let a trustworthy stranger explain things. It removes interpersonal drama from the equation, and many parents trust "experts" more than their own children. While there are plenty of Reader's Digest articles could send them that detail financial abuse of the elderly, many people would be insulted that you’d think they’d need to read them, so you might have to get creative. My mom didn’t like to read at all, but she loved to see justice delivered to people who deserved it, so I sent her links “scambating" YouTubers so she could mainline that stuff all day. Then, to open the subject up, I asked if she’d ever gotten calls like that. (She got like 20 a day)

Offer to do tech support, then quietly lock things down

PCs and smartphones are often the easiest way to enter someone’s financial accounts, but usually not through traditional “hacking.” Instead, scammers and con artists have invented endless “social engineering” methods to talk their marks into giving up remote access to the computer. One of the most effective is the “tech support scam.” You may be able to prevent this by casting yourself (or someone you trust) as the tech support. 

Chances are a non-tech savvy person would welcome you to go over their computer and fix any issues. So set up a regular “tech support” appointment. During this visit, you can make sure anti-virus and malware programs are installed and up-to-date and that the wifi has a password. But you can also say, “I set things up in a specific way, so make sure you call me before anything is changed.” This might be enough to shut down a tech support scam. This will also give you a good reason to collect all their passwords; trust me, you will be happy you have them at some point.

Install apps that block spam calls

There are any number of apps on both iPhone (Robokiller) and Android (Call Blocker) designed to block spam calls. Install one or two, then go to Go to Settings > Phone. Tap “Call Blocking & Identification.” Then let the apps block the calls. You don’t even have to tell your elderly friend/relative what you've done if you think they’d resent it. 

You can block all calls from all numbers that are not in a phone’s contact list too, without downloading anything. On iPhone: go to Settings > Phone · Scroll down and tap Silence Unknown Callers. 

Put them on the “Do Not Call” list

Scammers don’t care about the Do Not Call registry, but legal telemarketers do (sometimes), so make sure your folks’ landline and cell numbers are on the list. 

Keep an eye on their social media

Facebook is the absolute worst. Not only are the advertisers served up vulnerable customers on a silver platter, half of your parents Facebook friends are probably spoofed accounts too. Make sure they’re aware of the common scam of instant messages being sent supposedly from children or grandchildren asking for emergency money, and try your hardest to get them to not click on ads. Since you (hopefully) now have access to their password, you can block obviously spoofed accounts too (with permission, of course).

Have them appoint a power of attorney

The above advice assumes that your elderly loved one does not have dementia or anything else that makes them incapable of handling their own financial affairs. When things get that serious, they need to appoint a financial power of attorney to manage their finances completely. That doesn't have to be you, but it does have to be someone you trust.