I'm A Social Scientist: This Personality Type Makes Deeper Friendships

I don’t know about you, but I feel like introverts are often given a bad social rap. The general attitude is that extroverts are just better at relationships and community, whereas introverts struggle. For the record, that assumption could not be more false.

Social scientist, author, and professor Arthur Brooks, Ph.D. agrees: As he shares on a previous episode of the mindbodygreen podcast, oftentimes introverts actually have the leg up when it comes to deep connections. Allow him to explain.

Do introverts make deeper friendships?

Introverts have a special talent, says Brooks: creating deep, lasting connections beyond family and romance. 

“Introverts tend to do better [at] maintaining real friendships as life gets complicated," he notes. See, rather than embracing everyone around them, "introverts are really good at deep loving friendships with two or three people,” he adds.

Extroverts, on the other hand, make friendships with ease, given their more outgoing nature. But as Brooks notes, they may be "always looking for fresh meat," meaning they may have less time and energy to invest in their deeper relationships.

Now, this doesn’t mean that extroverts are flakey or bad friends; it just means they may have an easier time making new connections and find it more challenging tending to the friendships they have over time. It's just a natural part of the personality type Brooks has noticed over the years, and it's not a bad thing!

But given the emerging research on close friendships and happiness, longevity, and physical health1, it might be worth taking a page out of the introverts' playbook here. Brooks (an extrovert himself) shares he likes to take inspiration from the introverts in his life when it comes to deepening relationships; we can all learn from each other.

How to maintain & deepen your friendships

The assignment: Water your "friendship plants." This directive looks different for each person and each friendship, but here are some basic tips to help brainstorm your next move, especially if you’re an extrovert who struggles in this area:

This is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of ways to deepen a friendship. To be fair, making friendships isn’t easy for many people, both introverted and extroverted alike, so give yourself grace in the process if you’re met with some hurdles.

The takeaway 

According to Brooks, introverts tend to have an easier time maintaining deep relationships, compared to extroverts who often find it easier to make new friends. For both parties, putting time and effort into existing connections is certainly energy well spent. For more on the "macronutrients" of happiness (connection included) tune into the full episode below!