National Coming Out Day—how to support LGBTQ+ employees at your company

National Coming Out day is Oct. 11, providing another opportunity for companies to publicly support the LGBTQ+ community—at least for a day. But like Pride in June, once the recognition period is over, all of the activity, energy and social posts go back in the corporate closet until next year. Even for companies, being out of the closet is easier when there’s safety in numbers.

Let’s talk about the closet.

Being in the closet is actually a dark and lonely place. But for many of us who are LGBTQ+, that place can paradoxically be comfortable, depending on where you live or work. It can also be convenient, because when you’re in the closet, you don’t have to deal with the questions, the comments, the potential judgments and discrimination. But even if comfortable or convenient for a while, shame, deception and lying start to get to you.

Coming out is a personal choice—a process where we should each be able to tell our own story on our own time. That’s true in both our personal and work life.

For me, coming out at work happened in two parts. I first came out to some of my co-workers about 10 years into my post-college career because I finally worked for an agency where I felt comfortable that I would not be fired or be discriminated against. But it was quasi-coming out. While some of my co-workers knew my story, I didn’t disclose my life to any of my clients. One foot on the boat, the other on the dock, because I was afraid of losing a client that could impact the agency I worked for.

When I started my own agency, I continued to stay in the closet with clients—again out of fear. But when my son was born and we adopted him, I needed to stop lying. I’d get questions about my “wife” and our family plans. I knew at that moment I needed to set an example for my family and fully be who I am, no matter the business consequences. So, I did. And nothing happened. Not a single client fired my agency; in fact, every client was more than supportive. It’s funny how your own assumptions create barriers and limitations.

I’d stayed in the closet out of fear. And I’m not alone. According to a Human Rights Campaign survey, 46% of LGBTQ+ people are not out at work. Until two years ago, when the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was amended to provide workplace protections for LGBTQ+ workers, it was legal to fire someone based on their LGBTQ+ status. Another reason people stay in the closet is that more than a third of LGBTQ+ people have experienced discrimination or harassment in the workplace. Yet, paradoxically, LGBTQ+ people who are out at work are happier, experience fewer microaggressions and have better relationships with their managers.

Creating a culture where employees feel comfortable to come out if they choose to do so starts at the top. Here are specific actions your company can take:

Be visible

Come out of the closet for more than the month of June. Take some important steps along the journey to publicly demonstrate to your employees, clients and stakeholders that you are an open and inclusive organization. For starters, make personal pronouns and gender-neutral language normal in the business. Then audit your human resource information systems platform to make sure it provides sexual orientation, gender identity and pronoun options. This will give your employees the opportunities they need to self-identify and expect only acceptance.

Be equitable

Equal treatment doesn’t put everyone on equal footing. We have to honor the differences and needs of our fellow LGBTQ+ workers in hiring and benefits to create an open, inclusive and safe culture. That means we need to seek out LGBTQ+ candidates, use diverse recruiting platforms, describe jobs with inclusive language, and conduct interviews in a welcoming manner. Then we need to redesign such benefits as healthcare, insurance, and retirement plans to solve the unique support LGBTQ+ workers need.

Be intolerant

Merely tolerating LGBTQ+ people keeps talent in the closet. Become intolerant of anything less than full recognition and acceptance. Create a 100% intolerance policy that spells out anti-discrimination and anti-harassment policies to support LGBTQ+ employees. By doing that, you give people the space and support to come out on their own timing and terms.

Other ways to support LGBTQ+ employees: social media initiatives encouraging people who are out at work to share their coming-out story or asking agency leaders to pledge to mentor one LGBTQ+ worker for one hour per month for one year.

Join the companies that are doing the right thing by making it easier to come out and be out at work.