Our Words Matter

“Say what you mean and mean what you say.”

This phrase is attributed to General George S. Patton Jr., a World War II military commander known as much for his strategic success as for his forthright manner of speech.

With endless opportunities to inject ourselves into conversations, and a tiny nagging desire to look informed and intelligent, it’s easy to get up on a soapbox and wax poetic. However, I often find that the truly wise listen more often than they speak.

Keeping our speech plain, concise, and honest is a skill that few posses. It is perhaps an unorthodox approach to making space in daily life.

While tact is an important part of maintaining social grace, there is a certain liberty shared by those whose friends and family know what each other really think. Finding that balance is powerful.

By speaking less, and speaking with earnestness, our words carry more weight.

Choose accessibility over verbosity. Aim for empathy instead of gossip.

Learn to say “no,” as it will prevent you from over-promising. When you can consistently make good on your commitments, it demonstrates that your word is reliable.

Recently, I challenged myself to an experiment. I tried to refrain from speaking for 24 hours. I was skeptical, but by the end of the day, my perspective on communication had changed forever.

Of course, I had to speak eventually. Upon returning to silence, my mind was left to dwell on the words I chose, my attitude in my speech, and my internal motivation behind it. I quickly saw my desire to control situations or convert someone to my opinion. Sometimes my words were motivated by love, but more often, they were motivated by selfish pursuits.

Why not try a shorter version of this experiment. Find just an hour today to speak as little as possible. Choose a time when you will be around others, and let them know in advance. Avoid external sounds like TV or music.

You probably will need to break the silence at some point. Don’t be rude, just avoid speaking unless spoken to. Study the silence. Notice your urges to speak.

Upon breaking the silence, reflect on your words. Why did you choose them? And what were your internal motivations in choosing the words you did?

Our words matter. And simplifying our speech can be a thoughtful approach to making space in daily life.

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About the Author: Gabriella Hileman is an artist and creative producer living in the Southwest with her husband, son and parrot.