What Would Sunshine Do?

What would Sunshine do?

This is something I ask myself daily.  I was almost named Sunshine when I was born and though my father went with Rachael instead, once I learned about this missed opportunity I felt as though Sunshine would have been the best version of myself. 

Sunshine would wake up before her alarm would go off to meditate and/or read. She would stretch or do yoga before getting dressed in the outfit she had picked out the night before. Her hair wouldn’t be perfect but she accepted that her frizzy hair and endless curves after two kids are a part of life and something to accept and love. 

Sunshine would eat a healthy breakfast but she would also listen to her body too. If her body wanted a chocolate bar she would eat it without judgement or criticizing herself.

Sunshine would make sure that she had time before school and work to read books to her kids and if they were running late she would ‘try’ her best not to yell. If she did though she would apologize and show her children that even adults make mistakes and it’s important to apologize for them.

Sunshine would make time for her husband away from a screen and make sure to keep things fun and silly. 

The list goes on but I think you get the picture.

I think of Sunshine as the best possible version of myself. Kind of like the WWJD bracelets of the 90s but on a more personal level.

Here are five simple steps to connect more with your own Sunshine.

1. Establish your goals and desires.

In the beginning, I thought about what I wanted and who I thought Sunshine should be. I didn’t want to think of a part of myself so out of reach and on a pedestal. I wanted tangible. Think about what you want more of in life.

I started by writing out what a ‘perfect’ morning, work day, evening, afternoon, weekend would be. I looked for those areas that I wanted to change and I could change. No day is perfect but I noticed that in all my lists I wrote that Sunshine read so I decided to make more time for reading. Reading more became a goal and something that I didn’t even realize I desired until I added it into my daily routine and started to see how much happier it was making me.

2. Keep it simple.

With a minimalist mindset I try to think about the amount of habits I want to incorporate into my life and try to keep things simple. As the saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is my Sunshine. I noticed a lot of things I wished I could change about myself but I decided to keep any changes I made into small and manageable ones.

I wanted to show my daughters healthier habits so I identified a few that I could show them. I brush my teeth every night in front of them, I read daily around them and with them, I actively put my phone in a dish when I get home, and I show them that I deserve time to sit and relax too.

I’m always the parent constantly picking up things, cleaning messes, and never able to settle. So I thought about what they would say when they were older about their mother. Would they say “I always made time for them” or “She read to me every night” or would they say “She was always looking at her phone” or “She never had time to play because she cleaned all the time.”

3. Don’t go overboard.

It’s important to treat yourself however don’t over do it. Sure Sunshine likes chocolate bars but she also understands that stomachaches are a thing and so are cavities. I used to feel such guilt when I bought myself anything but never for my family. Why? I deserve nice things too.

Now whenever I do buy myself something I try to follow three rules so that I don’t go overboard. I don’t spend money that I don’t have, I follow the one in one out rule, and I never buy anything online at night. I find that I personally am more likely to make impulse purchases if I’m shopping while scrolling in bed. 

4. Accept setbacks.

We can’t be ‘on’ all the time. We are human and allowed to falter. Accept when you make mistakes and keep moving forward. I think about the app Duolingo for learning second languages. I am currently around seven hundred days into learning Italian however at least once a week if not twice I will use a streak freeze. I will not learn my language in order to focus more on other areas of myself like simply relaxing after a long day and that’s okay too.

Everyone has their moments. Just this morning I yelled when my daughter was taking too long to get out the door and I immediately regretted it. I apologized and explained my feelings. I remembered that it’s my job to share my calm when they are chaos. Yet I also gave myself permission to make a mistake. I recognized that it was a bad five minutes but not a bad day. I remembered that just because I am the adult in the situation doesn’t mean that I’m not still learning too.

5. Have fun.

Being Sunshine doesn’t mean that I need to be perfect. It’s a way for me to think before I act and try to make better choices before I do. I try to have fun with life because that’s what I think Sunshine would do.

Sunshine isn’t a rule book or even guidelines. It’s more like that silly face you make in the mirror at yourself when brushing your teeth in the mornings. It is the song you sing loudly in the car out of tune because it makes your face hurt from smiling too much. Sunshine is the second piece of cake without the fear of the number on the scale. It’s trying pickleball even though you know you’re going to make a fool out of yourself but so what. 

In Conclusion 

Sunshine is the best me that I can be but she isn’t the best. She still makes awkward small talk with strangers and creates way too many dishes when cooking dinner. She tries her best though and that is what is most important to remember.

Sunshine used to love writing FanFictions about comic book characters falling in love but forgot about that when she had to do more of the necessary things in life. So she decided to write an article to a website that she loves to read from without being asked to. My Sunshine has no idea if this will be read by one person or sent to a spam box but I put myself out there and that’s the first step.

So what will your Sunshine do?

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About the Author: Rachael is a preschool teacher with a degree in early childhood education. She has two daughters aged seven and two, a mutt, dumpster cat, and a lovingly supportive husband. She is an avid lover of the arts, reading, writing, and trying her hand (terribly) at pickleball.