3 Questions to Help You Remember What Matters

Regardless of how long we have been on a journey to pursue a life with less, we can sometimes find ourselves off track. We know certain things or activities aren’t adding value to our lives or helping us live in alignment with what matters most to us, but we stick to the status quo.

In the busyness of everyday life, it’s easy to get complacent and go through the motions. So how do we rediscover the enthusiasm that motivated us to pursue this lifestyle in the first place?

These three simple but powerful questions have helped me reflect on what actually matters and remove everything from my life that doesn’t.

1. What would I miss?

I do a simple exercise with the moms I speak to and coach called the natural disaster exercise. It goes like this:

You are on vacation. You have your purse, your cell phone, your wedding ring, clothing and some personal items. Your phone rings. Your neighbor tells you your home has flooded.

You have ten seconds to list the first three things that you would miss. Go.

Look at your list. Surprised by the answers? Or maybe surprised by how difficult it was to come up with any answers? 

Think about the things you picked. What are you doing to preserve those items in case something happened? Do you need to scan physical photos, or take a photo of family heirlooms accompanied by a story?

What matters to you? What wouldn’t you miss? This exercise is telling and a great motivator for action.

Since we know clutter is not neutral and actively contributes to stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and physical health issues, are you more willing to let go of the things you can’t even remember you own?

2. How would I feel if this item spontaneously combusted?

This question comes from The Minimalists and is perfect for sentimental items or family heirlooms that you’ve inherited that aren’t meaningful to you. If the answer is, “I would feel relieved” then that is an indication that the item is imbued with emotional weight, even if it doesn’t take up a lot of physical space. Perhaps you are holding on to it out of guilt, or fear, or simply a feeling like you “should” keep it.

Letting go doesn’t erase the past or the memories associated with it. It allows you to move forward confidently towards a hopeful future.

3. If I were to pass away today, what would my children (or other loved ones) say at my funeral?

We don’t like to think about our mortality. In fact, many of us actively avoid making decisions that would help relieve our loved ones from having to deal with the burden of our stuff. 

But if we think about what our kids would say about us at our funeral, we are faced with how we are showing up for the most important people in our lives.

I don’t want my boys saying, “I remember Mom telling me those three little words… ‘just a minute.’”

“She always seemed to be searching for something…on her phone.”

“When I asked her how she was, she usually answered, ‘Tired.’” 

We say our family is important. Our health. Our faith. But how is this reflected in the mundane moments of our day-to-day life? Are we so stretched thin by exceeding our capacity that we can’t be the person that we want to be remembered as when we die?

Self-Inquiry Shows Us the Path

Pursuing a minimalist lifestyle means that we constantly question the way things are and imagine how they could be if we removed what is holding us back. These questions and others like it help us rediscover our motivation so we can move forward with confidence.

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About the Author: Emily McDermott is a wife, mother, and simplicity seeker, chronicling her journey at Simple by Emmy. She is also the host of the podcast Moms Overcoming Overwhelm, where she helps moms declutter their homes, heads, and hearts.