8 Reader Comments on Marriage

When it comes to marriage, we’ve talked about everything from funny pet peeves to how to make sex great, and over the years, we’ve collected some priceless reader comments. Here are some favorites…

On great advice:

“People often say that communication is the key to a successful marriage, but I disagree. I believe it’s KIND communication. Communication won’t do a marriage any favors if you’re only communicating unkind things. Kindness (and generosity) are key.” — Whitney

“It will be nine years for us in September and we have always slept under different blankets. Friends and family who found out tease us, but using the same cover ALWAYS turned into middle-of-the-night, half asleep tug-of-wars. So now we each have a blanket that is made of the fabric and weight we prefer and it is bliss. A friend recently told me in regards to marriage advice, ‘Do whatever will cause the least amount of resentment between the two of you.’ A life lesson right there! — Holly

On feel-good rituals:

“The simple, good moments are the ones that my partner and I turn into routine. We consistently take a walk around 10 p.m. before bed. We also do haiku contests when we’re stuck on the train — the key is to pick a random topic and keep the haiku under a minute or less. And when one of us is nervous about a job interview or tough conversation at work, we’ll remind the nervous one ‘I’ll love you no more or no less no matter the outcome.’ It helps to have that reminder.” — Hannah

On knowing they were the one:

“One of the moments I knew that my husband was someone I should never let go was in the middle of the night, just a few months into our relationship. He’s a very sound sleeper, but he rolled over and bumped into me pretty hard. Even half asleep, he was so concerned and made sure I was okay (I was totally fine). In that moment, I had this overwhelming peace that he really was the most loving, gentle, and kind person I had ever known. Almost four years of marriage, two cross country moves, multiple job changes, and very scary medical things later… He’s even better than I thought that night.” — Girl Named Allyn

On keeping the spark alive:

“I never thought of myself as a ‘physical touch’ person, but my husband definitely is. After 11 years of marriage and turning 40, he will still spin me around and make out with me in our kitchen. He still keeps things very sexy, and to be desired after kids, weight gain and long days at work, it is an incredible feeling.” — Dana

On compromise:

“We maybe have a controversial approach to almost everything in our marriage, which is that the person with the better skills, the better vision and the better abilities gets to decide. My husband is amazing — amazing! — at so many things from bathing wiggly babies to making old birthday cake recipes ‘just like grandma used to make.’ And he is rubbish at decorating. When I met him, at 26, he owned the world’s scratchiest sheets and stored his books in plastic milk crates. So, when it comes to decorating our house, I always ask his opinion but we both know that said opinion will generally be overridden by me. And we’re both good with that. Especially since it means he gets to organize it however he likes, our kids are clean, and everyone’s eating good cake at the end of the day.” — Hilary

On dealing with change:

“The incredible woman who is now my spouse was a vegetarian when we met, as was I. About two years into dating, she said she wanted to eat meat. I was totally shocked. But the important thing is that she told me her desire to change, rather than just going for it without bringing me along beside her. I’m grateful she knew me well enough to know that I’d object to her eating meat, but also respected me enough to tell me what was on her mind. We talked about it for several months and eventually laid out some ground rules for what our new dining rituals would look like. Change in your partner (and yourself) is inevitable. The important thing is to respect one another in the process.” — Sarah

“I met and started dating my husband in high school, almost 25 years ago. One of my relationship hacks is to keep a photo of 17-year-old him around and remind myself how lucky I am that he’s not the one that got away. We’ve both grown and changed so much. But when I think of that feeling of first loving a new person and the intensity of young love, which we’ve now long outgrown, I can remind myself that those feelings I had are for this person right in front of me now… That same handsome 17-year-old in the photo.” — Lauren

What would you add? We’d love to hear…

P.S. Reader comments on love and the best relationship advice I ever received.

(Photo from Irina Bo/Stocksy.)