Carley Hauck guides us to embrace all parts of ourselves—those qualities we see as our “shadow,” or what isn’t serving us, as well as the light, or what we see as our positive attributes. Especially as leaders (including any person who shows leadership in their life), working with both our “dark” and “light” parts allows us to shine our full potential out into the world.
If you feel like it’s often too difficult or painful to acknowledge some aspects of who you are, this is a powerful practice for developing greater self-acceptance and self-love. As Carley reminds us, “The more you acknowledge the shadow, the more you will integrate and embrace it.” In this meditation, we’ll use a visualization technique, along with movement and sound, to support us in truly embracing every aspect of who we are.
A Guided Meditation to Embrace All Your Parts
Find a space where you can be quiet for several minutes. Take a few deep breaths in and out of your belly. Breathing in, allowing the belly to rise. Breathing out, allowing the belly to fall.
When you are relaxed, imagine yourself standing in the center of a circle of supportive people: Your family, friends, colleagues, pets, or guides. Close your eyes and soak up the feelings of love and acceptance.
Now acknowledge one or two parts of yourself that you struggle with or have disowned—perhaps your impatience, arrogance, shyness, fear of being unlovable. Anything you have a little shame around. These are the dark parts of you are the shadow.
Just a side note to say: we all have shadow aspects of our personalities. An easy way to identify your dark parts is to bring to mind a person in your life who triggers you. What do you not like about them? What do you struggle with when you’re with them? What is the trait or quality that is challenging about this person? For example, you might have a colleague who always turns in their reports late. And this elicits feelings of anger or discomfort. You feel the judgment about their lack of accountability. Now turn the mirror towards yourself and ask:
In what ways am I like this? Or in the example above, you could ask,
In what ways am I not accountable? When you see this behavior in yourself, you will likely feel discomfort in your body, or even a feeling of
ouch.
I invite you to be with all that arises with a loving awareness. Wherever you look and whatever is brought into presence, shine love and awareness there. Take a few minutes to invite it in. And allow these dark parts, acknowledging them one by one, aloud or silently with love and presence. Try saying,
I can be selfish, I can be arrogant, I can be impatient. The more you acknowledge the shadow, the more you will integrate and embrace it.
The truth is that leaders need all of our parts to shine our greatest light and potential in the world. Take another round of deep breaths in and deep breaths out.
Now let’s move to the light parts. These are the qualities you identify in yourself as positives or strengths. Say the list out loud or silently for a few minutes as mantras. For example:
I am strong. I am smart. I am compassionate. I am resilient. Invite these parts into your awareness with love and presence. Allow all of these parts to be seen and embraced by your circle of supportive beings.
As you acknowledge each of these life parts, you can also invite in the dark. This is how we integrate and bring forward our whole self to work in the world. You can further support this integration by chanting one of these loving mantras:
I embrace all of you. I love and accept all of you. I choose all of me. I am loving awareness. As you repeat the mantra and notice how you feel in your mind, heart and body. Repeat your favorite mantras, especially when you aren’t being compassionate or kind to yourself, until you truly believe the message. Our thoughts become our beliefs. And they become patterns in our neural networks and our minds.
A profound way to bring your whole self to work and into daily life is to get into your body. For this exercise, you might choose to play with the movement piece and notice what kind of motion helps you embody the polarity of your dark and light parts. Try different stances, postures, gestures, or vocal sounds. The movements and sounds can then be integrated into your outer game of leadership by how you walk and talk and show up in the world.
Remember that developing any new pattern requires patience, practice, and persistence. But if you do this, you will be able to shine your greatest light. Thank you for your practice today.
Hollif
