Connected Detachment (Possibility)

Consider detaching from the story of your life as it’s happening. 

The manuscript of the novel you’ve worked on for years is lost in a fire. Your romantic relationship breaks up when you thought it was going well. You lose a job you care about. As hard as it may seem, seek to experience events like these as if you’re watching a movie. You’re observing a dramatic scene where the protagonist faces a seemingly insurmountable challenge. 

It’s you, but it’s not you. 

Instead of sinking into the pain of heartbreak or the stress of being laid off or the grief of loss, if practicing detachment the response might be: I wasn’t expecting that plot twist. I wonder what’s going to happen to our hero next. 

There’s always a next scene, and that next scene may be one of great beauty and fulfillment. The hard times were the required setup to allow these possibilities to come into being.

The outcome is not the outcome. The darkness is not an end point, nor is the daylight. They live in a continually unfolding, mutually dependent cycle. Neither is bad or good. They simply exist. 

This practice—of never assuming an experience you have is the whole story—will support you in a life of open possibility and equanimity. When we obsessively focus on these events, they may appear catastrophic. But they’re just a small aspect of a larger life, and the further you zoom back, the smaller each experience becomes. 

Zoom in and obsess. Zoom out and observe. We get to choose. 

When we reach an impasse, we may experience feelings of hopelessness. The ability to stay out of the story, zoom back, and see new pathways into and around a challenge will be of boundless use. 

If we allow this principle to work on us as we work on it, our imagination frees us from the web of personal and cultural stories engulfing us. Art has the power to snap us out of our transfixation, open our minds to what’s possible, and reconnect with the eternal energy that moves through all things. 

♦

From The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin © 2023 Rick Rubin. Reprinted in arrangement with Penguin Press.