Here Are Some Dad Jokes for You

A Dad Joke is something to be appreciated any day of the year, but as we approach Father’s Day, it’s especially important to honor this specific genre of “humor.” If we can call it that.

What is a Dad Joke?

A Dad Joke (capitalized out of respect) is defined by Merriam-Webster as “a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny.”

(When does a joke become a Dad Joke? When it becomes apparent.)

In other words, if it’s incredibly cheesy and makes you half-groan, half-smile, it’s a Dad Joke. Sure, anyone can tell a Dad Joke, but the punchlines are most effectively delivered by a middle-aged, semi-dorky father.

(It’s inappropriate to make a “Dad Joke” if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.)

What are your favorite Dad Jokes?

In honor of all our favorite dads on Father’s Day, I have curated for you a collection of the very best (worst?) Dad Jokes I could find. Feel free to bust any of these out during Sunday’s backyard barbecue.

Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on so many levels.Why did the guy get fired from his job at orange juice factory?
He couldn’t concentrate.Did you hear about the cheese factory that got blown up? Da brie was everywhere.Why do eye doctors live so long? They dilate.Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.How do you steal someone’s coat? You jacket.I was wondering why this frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.I went to a zoo once, but they only had one dog there. It was a Shih Tzu.What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.The police just arrested the worlds tongue twister champion. They say he’ll be given a tough sentence.Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.What do you say to a baby you meet on Rodeo Drive? “Gucci, Gucci, Gucci.”Many people think Thor’s brother is intense, but I found him to be low-key.How much do roofs cost? Nothing. They’re on the house.What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare-line.What do frogs wear on their feet in summer? Open toad sandalsWhere are all the dad jokes stored? In a dad-a-base.Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny.Where did the general put his armies? In his sleevies.What’s brown and sticky? A stick!What did the father buffalo say to the boy buffalo when he went to school? “Bison.”

And finally, here’s an original Dad Joke—one you probably haven’t heard before—courtesy of the husband of one of the parents in our Offspring Facebook group:

Where are the spiciest peppers commemorated? The hall-of-peño.

(Samantha says her husband was very proud when he came up with that one, and we can certainly see why.)

I know there’s a Dad Joke you love that isn’t on this list, and I know it’s killing you. Go ahead, add it in the comments; there’s no such thing as too many Dad Jokes (yes there is).

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This post was originally published in 2020 and was updated on June 17, 2021 with current context (and more dad jokes).