Put MSG in Everything, You Cowards

By now, we should all be completely unafraid of monosodium glutamate, the umami-boosting molecule more commonly referred to as “MSG.” It will not give you headache, it will not make your arms numb, but it will inspire you to eat an entire head of roasted broccoli in one sitting. Here’s how (and why) you should use the world’s most savory crystal.

Monosodium glutamate isn’t dangerous

As Beth has covered before, the symptoms of “Chinese Restaurant Syndrome” have never been reproduced in a laboratory setting. (If that syndrome sounds pretty racist, that’s because it is.) This is great news, because it means we are free to enjoy the combination of sodium and glutamate with wild abandon, not just in Doritos, but in our very own recipes.

Using MSG requires restraint

Buying MSG is not as easy as buying salt—look for a bottle of Accent in the store or a bag of Ajinomoto online—but it’s not much harder, and it’s just as easy to use. However, just as with sodium chloride, it can be easy to get carried away with MSG, particularly when you start to realize all the wonderful things you can bring this newfound source of umami to. The key is to take it slowly—1/4-1/2 a teaspoon is usually plenty for any recipe that serves four to six people. (More than that can give your meal an unpleasant, artificial flavor.) For a single serving—or a beverage, which we’ll get to in a moment—start with a pinch, taste, and add more if needed. (I recommend tasting a little bit of it plain, to get a full sense of its kinda meaty, very slightly sweet, and very savory quality.)

What, exactly, should you add it to? Pretty much any non-dessert item (and some desserts) could use some umami. If you would add soy sauce to it, you can add MSG. If you would add Parmesan to it, you can add MSG. If you think “this could use some fish sauce/tomato paste/nutritional yeast,” you can (and should) add MSG. If you need ideas, I have some.

Blow mere salted caramel out of the water

Salted caramel had its moment. It’s time for MSG caramel to shine.

Add depth to tomato sauce

Confession, I have never not messed with Marcella Hazan’s three-ingredient sauce. It’s fine on its own, but I’ve always added garlic, or wine, or fish sauce, or something to give it just a little oomph. This Friday, I added 1/2 teaspoon of MSG, and enjoyed it immensely. (It’s also worth noting that my boyfriend, who has never liked the Hazan sauce, liked it so much he ate the cold leftovers while standing over the sink. Or maybe it’s not “worth noting,” so much as “mildly entertaining.”)

Make better garlic bread

Do you want to elevate your garlic bread to mid-level restaurant heights of deliciousness? Sprinkle on a little MSG, just as you would salt. If you’re dealing with a bread stick or biscuit, just brush ‘em with a little butter first so the crystals have something to cling to.

Elevate your popcorn

This one is obvious. Sprinkle on a few pinches; toss, taste, adjust as needed.

Making roasted vegetables exciting

I’m just kidding; roasted vegetables are already very good, but I absolutely inhaled the head of broccoli I dusted with MSG. For every couple of servings, toss the vegetables with 1/8th of a teaspoon of MSG, along with a couple of tablespoons of olive oil and salt.

Make soups and stews taste more meaty

Half a teaspoon is plenty for most meaty recipes. I particularly like in it tomato soup, chili, and anything bean-based.

MSG will make you like ground turkey

Yes, you could put MSG in other ground meats, but no meat needs help in the flavor department quite as much as ground turkey. Use a 1/2 teaspoon per pound.

Stir up an absolutely filthy martini

To up the savory quality of an olive-infused martini, add just a pinch of MSG to your ice-filled stirring glass, along with 2 1/2 ounces of gin, 1/2 an ounce of dry vermouth, and 1/4 ounce of olive brine. Stir, strain, and enjoy. (You can also add a little to a Bloody Mary, to excellent results.)

Level up dips, dressings and spreads

Add a pinch to homemade onion dip, salad dressings, pimento cheese, bean dip, or plain cream cheese. (I did the cream cheese thing on Sunday morning, it was fantastic.)

Make airplane food taste better

Flying decreases your sensitivity to sweet and salty foods and enhances your ability to detect umami? This is why people order tomato juice on planes, and it’s also why I carry a tiny shaker of MSG with me whenever I travel. If the only thing you can really taste is things that are savory, you might as well season your food with the most savory crystal around.

Perk up bland, out-of-season tomatoes

Look—I know I shouldn’t be messing with tomatoes this time of year, but sometimes I’m a big dummy who can’t help myself, and I find myself with a few round, red, flavorless orbs. However, seeing that glutamate is one of the flavors that make tomatoes so good, a little sprinkling of the stuff renders out-of-season tomatoes downright edible, if not totally delicious.