Stop saying ‘I think’—to sound confident and influence people, use this ‘subtle but powerful’ swap
Minimizing language like "I think" can "dilute your credibility," says communication expert Lorraine K. Lee, author of "Unforgettable Presence."
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We've all done it. You're in a meeting, on a date or even texting a friend, and two words slip into the conversation: "I think we should go with option A." "I think we should see this movie." "I think we should leave at 7."
While "I think" can be harmless sprinkled in here and there, if you use it too often and in the wrong context, it can weaken your message, diminish your presence and undermine your confidence.
"I think" is an example of minimizing language: words and phrases that soften your statements and make you seem less sure of yourself. Other common minimizing language includes "just," "sorry" and "maybe."
While these words may seem polite, they can dilute your credibility and make your ideas easier to dismiss, especially in a professional context.
Use this 'subtle but powerful' swap
Instead of "I think," swap in "I recommend." Compare these two statements:
"I think we should move the deadline.""I recommend moving the deadline."The first feels hesitant, while the second feels authoritative and action-oriented. Even if the message you want to convey is exactly the same, your words carry more weight when framed as a recommendation rather than what can be interpreted as a passing thought.
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Here are a few examples of this swap in action at work and in life:
Instead of: "I think we should go with the second proposal."Try: "I recommend we go with the second proposal."Instead of: "I think we should prioritize this project."
Try: "I recommend prioritizing this project."Instead of: "I think you should try this restaurant."
Try: "I recommend trying this restaurant."Instead of: "I think you should change your reservation."
Try: "I recommend changing your reservation."
The shift is subtle but powerful. Saying "I recommend" instead of "I think" makes you sound more confident and decisive, gives you more influence, and ensures you're seen as someone whose opinion matters.
What if you're not sure?
There are times when it feels like you really should use "I think." Perhaps you're not confident in your recommendation, or you purposefully want to soften your message.
While it's certainly a path you can take, you can still use "I recommend" in these situations — with a twist.
Preface your recommendation with an indication of what you're drawing on to give it. For example:
"Based on what I've seen, I recommend…""Looking at the data, I'd recommend…""From my experience, I'd recommend…"This keeps your statement strong while acknowledging some uncertainty and leaving room for further discussion.
Break the 'I think' habit
Any time you try to disrupt a pattern that's deeply ingrained in your everyday conversations, it takes practice. Here are a few strategies you can try to break this particular communication habit:
Listen for it. Start noticing how often you say "I think," and in what contexts it tends to pop up. It may surprise you how many times a day you use this phrase. Enlist help. Ask friends or peers to call it out when they hear it to help keep you accountable.Pause before you speak. Speaking more slowly and adding pauses is already helpful when trying to appear more authoritative and confident. Now, you can also catch yourself when you're about to say "I think" and give yourself enough time to swap it out.Observe your writing. "I think" often creeps into our written communication too, especially quick messages over Slack or Teams. Take a second pass at your writing before hitting send to make sure you're keeping things concise and using strong phrases like "I recommend."Confident communication isn't just about what you say, it's about how you say it. By swapping "I think" for "I recommend," you'll sound more authoritative at work — and come across as more self-assured in everyday life.
Lorraine K. Lee is an award-winning virtual keynote speaker and CEO of RISE Learning Solutions. She's also the best-selling author of "Unforgettable Presence: Get Seen, Gain Influencer, and Catapult Your Career," which was named a must-read by the Next Big Idea Club. She teaches popular courses with LinkedIn Learning and Stanford Continuing Studies. Past clients include Zoom, Cisco, LinkedIn, ASICS, McKinsey & Company, and many others.
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