The Out-of-Touch Adults' Guide to Kid Culture: How SpongeBob Won the Super Bowl

Credit: Nickelodeon - YouTube

The undeclared national holiday of Super Bowl Sunday has passed once again, leaving behind only memories and memes. But also, we'll delve into this week's debate over yellow paint in video games, take a look at "legging legs," and find out what co-worker core is.

Viral Video of the Week: Nickelodeon's Super Bowl coverage

This week’s Super Bowl was among the most predictable in recent memory—after an impossibly dull first half, Taylor Swift led the Kansas City Chiefs to a narrow victory over the San Francisco 49ers. But there was one surprise, brought to the world by SpongeBob Squarepants. While most of us were watching the coverage on CBS, smart people were watching Nickelodeon’s coverage on Paramount+ where SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star joined CBS Sports analyst Nate Burleson for play-by-play coverage of the game.

The Bikini Bottom boys absolutely destroyed Jim Nantz and Tony Romo’s lackluster game-calling. Highlights include Dora the Explorer suggesting the 49ers could use a map to find the end zone, onscreen graphics referring to Travis Kelce as “Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend,” crowd-shots of Bikini Bottom superstars like Clamuel L. Jackson and Doja Catfish, and the ceremonial sliming of the end zone after each touchdown (that would be three slimings in five quarters). Sadly, the entire broadcast isn’t available to watch online, but you can enjoy SpongeBob’s live performance of "Sweet Victory” that kicked off the game. 

The Super Bowl commercial about Jesus

This year's Super Bowl commercials were mostly lazy variations of “Here's the most famous person we could get to be in our commercial,” but one ad did manage to capture people’s attention: This advertisement for Jesus. It consists of static AI-generated images of the Son of God washing people’s feet, leading many to ask, “Is Jesus a foot guy?” The ad, paid for by the people behind Hobby Lobby, is part of their billion-dollar campaign aimed at humanizing Jesus.

Dark Brandon made a post-Super Bowl appearance

Another highlight surrounding the big game this week: The White House’s official X account posted a meme picture of Joe Biden as Dark Brandon with the caption “Just like we drew it up,” confirming the worst fears of conspiracy theorist everywhere. Biden (or more accurately, some idealistic young intern in the Biden administration's social media department) also launched a TikTok account where he says he’d “get in trouble” if he revealed whether he’d fixed the Super Bowl. When asked about the White House's new social media account, Biden said, "Yeah, I made a ticky-tock, what's it to you, brother?" in my imagination.

Why are gamers obsessed with yellow paint?

While some people focused on the Super Bowl, video game aficionados (or "gamers" for short) debated the use of yellow paint in video games. Just as exploding barrels are red and poison gasses are green, yellow is commonly used in games as shorthand for “these are handholds that you can climb.” The current round of yellow paint debate started a few days ago when Twitter user The Oshborn posted a screenshot from Final Fantasy 7 with the caption, “THE YELLOW PAINT VIRUS HAS INFECTED FF7,” but the debate is nothing new. As far back as 2013, the developers of The Last of Us were widely criticized for their use of yellow to indicate handholds. Whether this is useful visual shorthand that serves players or an example of game developers being lazy depends on your point of view, but one thing is for sure: once you have a job, you will not care about this debate at all.

What is “coworker core?”

Coworker core is the name some young people online have come up with for content that a coworker might share because they think it’s funny—basically, cringey and pedestrian shares like old Family Guy clips or Seinfeld memes. The lesson: if you work with anyone under the age of 25 and share anything that you think is funny, the joke is probably on you. But don't despair, as this is part of the great circle of life. Members of generation Alpha have already started making fun of Gen Z for being geriatric because they can't appreciate Skibidi Toilet videos. Besides, you drive a much nicer car than your younger coworkers and don't have student loans to pay off, so who's laughing now, punk?

Why are “legging legs” banned from TikTok?

First, the definition: legging legs refers to people with the “right” kind of legs to wear leggings. When the debate began a few months ago, many TikTok users pointed out that anyone can wear leggings because they're clothes and they make them in many sizes, but others of a more body-police mindset maintained that the only people who should wear leggings have skinny legs and a thigh gap. Because it’s gross and TikTok is for kids, the company banned the phrase “legging legs” from its platform. A search for the term Legging Legs on TikTok leads to a phone number for the National Alliance for Eating Disorders.