The Power of a Quiet Life

I love Friday nights at home with a movie or a book, and my family alongside me. I also happen to love Friday nights when both my sons and husband are at work and I’m home alone. Whether alone or with people, the constant thing I yearn for is quiet living.

Choosing a quiet life isn’t a popular choice, nor is it spouted as truth even if everyone over the age of 35 feels this way. You couldn’t pay me now to start the evening at 10:00 pm. I’m in my pajamas and socks as soon as dinner is over in my house.

There are times when a “wild” night out is necessary, which means we eat dinner at a restaurant at 7:00pm and my husband and I might be out until the wee hours of 9:00pm.

This also isn’t to say I’m an antisocial person. I love being with friends and family, and there are times when I desperately need to be with people. The community and fellowship feed a deep longing that being alone can’t fulfill. I also love musical theater, ball games, and parties.

But it’s not just the physical quiet I yearn for, as I’ve gotten older. It’s not the loud room, or concert, or noisy atmosphere. I’m talking about a quiet life in general, the metaphorical quiet; the lessening of social media, the fewer items in the closet, and ridding my surroundings of all excess so that I can focus on my soul’s desires.

As I’ve learned to embrace the slower life without apology – and with the intent to truly enjoy what I love – I’ve found power in a quiet life. And the attributes that create this quiet have resulted in an effective and wonderful life.

I’m doing things that matter.

The best thing about living a quiet life is the ability to hunker down and do the things that matter. As I choose a minimal way of living in every part of my home and life, it allows me to see if what I’m doing is helping or hurting me. Will scrolling endless hours on social media help the quality of my life? Does shopping aimlessly help to keep my life quiet or only add to the noise of an overstuffed closet? When I choose the quiet life, like turning off the television and writing a letter, it makes me feel like I’ve added meaning to my life. At the end of the day, things that matter do matter.

I’m free to do what I love

The power in my quiet life is about doing things I love. When it comes to keeping a quiet life, it means I’m choosing to read, play the piano, take a walk in my neighborhood rather than shop at the mall, peruse online clothing catalogs, or take a selfie to post on social media. A quiet life means I’m doing what I love without the need to do what others think I should love. I’m taking a yoga class because it feels good, rather than doing the latest exercise craze. My quiet life helps to dictate my freedom. And that I love, too.

I can keep my anonymity

In our social-media-crazed world, where telling everyone everything all the time is normal, there is such power in taking that action back. I don’t need to post what I’m eating, where I’m going, or what I look like every day. We’re so used to doing and seeing this that when we take a step back from social media – posting or scrolling – there’s almost a visceral reaction to it. We can feel the superfluity of the TikTok or Instagram worlds. There’s power in anonymity and joy in taking a respite from the social media life. There is freedom in the choice of anonymity.

I can hear what’s happening

It’s said that to be a good conversationalist you need to be a good listener. If the world around me is too loud, how do I listen? When I intentionally choose quiet actions, rather than loud ones, it opens up a dialogue that I desperately need to hear. With quiet, I can hear the nudge of my heart, I can feel the needs of my soul. There are various pressures in all of our lives, so being able to make the right decision as problems, situations, and life events arise, allows us to make the most educated choices. When I hear what’s happening, I can keep my life on the track I want to be on.

I can hear what isn’t said

Much like reading between the lines, sometimes life is talking to us but we can’t hear it. Sometimes, we need to slow down, but we don’t because we can’t differentiate the chatter. The loudest voice is always heard the most audible. To hear the quiet, soft voice of truth, we need to understand that truth speaks gently.

I remember my youngest son was having trouble in school. He loved his classes but was frustrated by their size and the inability of his teachers to focus on his needs. He told me this, but the loud voice of keeping him in school with his friends spoke over the quiet truth. It took me a year, but I finally got rid of the noise and listened to him. He was miserable! So, we pulled him from the school he’d been in for almost 10 years and put him in a charter school that resolved his frustrations. His happiness returned, his grades improved, and everything felt better. Sometimes, the most truthful things speak the quietest.

While the quiet life may not be the most popular way to live, that doesn’t matter to me anymore. Doing what is right for my body, soul, and spirit has become my top priority. To live a quiet life in a loud world, I have to consistently remind myself to turn down the loudness and implement the quiet.

It’s not always easy, but let me tell you… my Friday nights are just the way I like them.

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About the Author: Heather Spiva is freelance writer from Northern California with a penchant for minimalism, vintage clothing, and coffee. When she’s not writing, she’s reading. Her husband and two grown sons are the loves of her life.