Time is the Best Gift

Giving the gift of time is the most valuable gift we can give each other and ourselves.

My Dad passed away in 2024 and my best memories of him are not of any of the gifts he gave me (or helped pay for), but of the time I spent with him camping and fishing. Our family drove our pick-up truck camper to all corners of Washington State and we made some great memories as a family together doing very simple low cost activities. My mom, my sisters, and I cash in on these memory dividends together over 50 years later.

In an indirect way, working to earn money and then spending that money on someone else could be considered a gift of time based on the hours worked. But what makes a gift far more valuable is actually spending that time with our loved ones as the gift. So often the receiver would rather have less stuff anyway.

Even embedding our time in a gift makes it better. For example, buying a Frisbee for my daughter isn’t nearly as valuable as making time to throw it with her too. She gets more time with me AND I get more time with her.

Our kids, parents, and friends want to spend time with us and we want to spend time with them. I cherish gifts that include time. I loved it when my young kids years ago gave me handmade coupons for my birthday or Christmas. I could cash them in for a game of chess with my son or watching a movie with my daughter. Better than any aftershave or tie.

I like to take people out to a nice meal. The food is beside the point. The main gift is spending time with each other in a relaxed atmosphere. As minimalists, my wife and I usually give gifts that are experiences and not physical things (unless we are sure of a need for a specific, useful item—no guessing).

For example, since we decided to become nomads, each Christmas instead of physical presents, we give our children a trip to join us somewhere in the world to spend time together. Our son has joined us in Uruguay, Mexico, and Indonesia. Our daughter has joined us in Japan and Spain, and she’ll soon join us in Mexico. We’ve flown out both to a few different states to spend time with family. These trips have been gold! While we are giving a gift of travel, we are also receiving a gift of time and great memories from our busy, grown children.

Gifts of travel or dinners out won’t work for everyone, but there are so many other ways to give invaluable gifts of time. Cooking a specialty meal can be a more affordable gift and includes time together. I love my sister’s home-cooked meals, scones and my favorite cookies—such generous gifts of time!

I was inspired by my kids’ recent ingenuity with Christmas gifts for their grandparents. My son devised a project to build custom speakers in his grandfather’s shop with him (Pop loves to build DIY handcrafted items!). My son flew in a few days early so they could spend some amazing time together on a shared project, just the two of them. My daughter bought a simple small photo album, then selected photos of herself together with her grandparents over the years. She wrote notes on each page highlighting their shared memories. It was touching to watch them look at the album together. A gift I know they will treasure.

As a society, our gift-giving is driven by marketing forces that we often accept as a requirement. We can feel compelled to give physical gifts to co-workers or distant family members that we wouldn’t normally give a gift to, if not for the manufactured standard foisted upon us.

At a recent gathering for Christmas, the cousins wondered if they should buy Christmas gifts for each other, even though they had rarely seen each other in childhood and never had before. We suggested that their real gift was their time. My daughter traveled ~600 miles to be there, choosing to share her limited break time between busy graduate school semesters. Our son flew from the opposite coast on his limited leave. Likewise, their cousins put their newly founded business on hold and flew in from across the country to be with us. They all ended up staying up late a few nights in a row watching movies and laughing together, forging new bonds and making memories that were only possible because of that most generous gift: time. No additional purchases to demonstrate their love or holiday spirit was required.

Let’s break free of the marketing pressure that we “should” get everyone a present at Christmas (or expect one from everybody). Our time (and theirs) of just being together is already the best gift.

We can also give ourselves the gift of time. By leveraging a “happy frugality” and saving and investing more, we can buy back our time through early retirement or reduced hours of work. Since early retirement 5 ½ years ago, I have spent more time on my health, following my curiosities, and being with my family and friends. I have never regretted leaving paid work (even my dream job)!

Instead of us working longer to afford more stuff to give, let’s consider working less and having more time to spend with our loved ones directly. Or adjusting the type of gift so that it comes with built-in time together.

Let’s cook together, watch a movie (and talk about it afterwards), or play a game together. Let’s take time to focus on each person in conversation—truly listening—and notice what they value, what is on their mind, what they have accomplished. Spend time with them and make them feel special—that is the best gift!

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About the Author: Justin Hall retired early from civil service, let go of 98 percent of his possessions, and travels the world full-time with his wife. Find him at Living The FIgh Life.