Want To Pick Up A New Habit? Do This To Increase The Odds Of Success

When we say we want something to change in our lives, like…

Our fitness routine

Our wake-up routine

Our relationships

Our energy

Our goals…

Or any of our commitments, it's always helpful to dig deeper and figure out why we want this change in the first place. On the surface it can seem like I'm just talking about waking up earlier, and that doesn't seem like a big deal. But I have sat with clients session after session who've talked to me about their desire to change something in their world that feels so minimal but impacts their lives in such a big way.

You might think I'm just talking about waking up earlier when really, I'm talking about the feeling of waking up late every day and feeling rushed before you even start your day and heading into work and feeling that even if you love your work, it's overshadowed by never feeling like you have time for you because you're always behind. And even when you get home in the evening, you'll still have more to do that you didn't get to earlier.

It's about making space to have time to rest and not feel overwhelmed. It's not just about waking up earlier; it's about breaking the cycle of exhaustion, a. cycle that really impacted so much of my life for years.

I not only wanted to get up early, but I wanted to wake up early without anger that I was up early. I was the kind of person who could barely hold a conversation before 10 a.m. This wasn't the kind of energy that I wanted within myself or to unintentionally project onto anyone I loved. But this is what it was like when I was "forced" to get up in the morning.

When I would say that I "wanted to be a morning person," it had nothing to do with the time of day. What I was really saying was:

Sometimes our intentions are hidden underneath the blanket statements we make like "I wish I was a morning person." And sometimes our beliefs and desires are hidden under our resentment. A lot of the energy that we put into talking trash about someone else, or hating on the joy that they have, is because it's something we really want. When you find yourself doing this, ask yourself, What am I really bothered about? Why am I really spending my energy talking about this person? What do I need?

I knew waking up earlier would help me be able to deal with the reality of my life. I had two kids who were up by 6:30 a.m. every day. Work responsibilities that I worked my butt off to never be late on. A desire to have a well-lived life. When was I going to work out if I didn't get up? When was I going to have time to eat a breakfast that nourished my body if I didn't get up? How was I going to get the rest I needed if I was up every night till 1 or 2 in the morning?

You may be reading this thinking, I don't need a new wake-up routine. Maybe you thrive in that area. But you know there are parts of your life that you've been ignoring for years because you don't believe there will ever be a fix. As you walk on your journey, you conveniently never turn right down those roads because you don't think there's any point. "I'll never solve this problem, so what's the point of even getting my hopes up?" And you know what? I'm not even asking you to push yourself to go down that road. I am asking that you consider being open to the possibility of finding yourself there one day. Right when you're ready.

I'm using my wake-up routine as an example, but I want you to ask yourself: What do you want that you know will help change your life for the better? But because of beliefs or blocks, it feels impossible to get to? Alongside the many things we go through in life is the path of us just trying to have the best life we can. When we think our "beliefs" matter more than releasing what's keeping us from getting there, we're in a cycle of stuckness. When we finally get willing to see what we can let go of that can bring us the ease we've been seeking? That's freedom. It isn't about having perfection. It's about meeting ourselves where we are. This is the other side.

And P.S. You're not too late. It may feel like you don't want to go down that road because there won't be anything waiting for you, but trust me. The feelings of waiting for change will be replaced by the joy of what you still have waiting for you. You're right on time.

When I was growing up, my grandmother would always wake up at the same time every day, with no alarm. We shared a room and bed, so when she got up, I would hear her and feel her gently put her feet on the floor to locate her slippers. Her rising would mystify me because I couldn't understand how she was able to do this without an alarm clock. It wasn't until I started to allow the sun to greet me in the morning that I realized the rhythm of the sky was waking her. That the light peeking through the curtains didn't have to be seen as a nagging inconvenience but an act of service.

My grandmother had my mother in her 40s, so by the time I came along, my grandmother didn't have much going on daily. But whatever she did have going on she looked forward to. Trips to the grocery store or the pharmacy, or even a walk to Downtown Brooklyn to shop around. Everything was so familiar, and yet she found a way to find delight in each step. She had deep purpose. She loved being a member of her community. She loved being a grandmother and a mother. She loved waking up each day even if it was going to be a similar routine waiting on her. She found joy and gratitude in her feet hitting the floor every day. These were simple things. There is joy in relishing the simple things.

If there's one thing I learned on my journeys before this, it was that I had what it takes to create change. Take a moment right now and remind yourself that YOU have what it takes too. Yes, you, who it seems have quit a thousand times and still haven't made it to where you want to be. Sometimes we quit because we're redirecting our energy, and this is a good thing! There's no need to keep something going that isn't working. Sometimes we call it quitting when what we're really doing is starting over with a new perspective.

From the book Wisdom of the Path by Yasmine Cheyenne. Copyright © 2024 by Yasmine Cheyenne. To be published on June 11, 2024, by HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. Excerpted by permission.