Your Guide to the World of Ridiculously Oversized Mattresses

You thing a King-sized bed is big? King-sized beds are for amateurs. You might think you’re dominating your sleep cycle, but you can get mattresses in much larger sizes than your standard 76x80 inch King, or even the slightly larger California King, which measures 72x84. You can buy mattresses so large you will find it difficult to find bedrooms large enough to accommodate them, mattresses so large you’ll have to redesign your entire life around their sheer gravity.

How big can a mattress get? And why would you need a bed as large as an aircraft carrier?

Stupidly big beds

If you’ve been sleeping on a King and find that you still feel constrained, you have several larger options to choose from:

Wyoming King. Wyoming, as a state, is known for being pretty big, so the name tracks. Its namesake mattress is merely enormous—the smallest of the oversized mattress category, a statement that demonstrates language has no meaning anymore. It’s also kind of unusual because it’s square, measuring 84x84—that’s 7 feet square. This mattress is ideal for folks who often squeeze a third person into their bed—a kid who likes to cuddle with his parents, for example, or a huge dog who thinks he’s still a puppy. The Wyoming King is 12 inches wider than the California King, which means you can easily fit an extra person (or dog) in it without kicking each other. Texas King. They say everything’s bigger in Texas. When it comes to mattresses, that is apparently quite true, as the Texas King measures a whopping 80x98 inches. Although it’s a little narrower than the Wyoming King, the extra length brings it to more than 8 feet. This mattress is perfect for very tall persons who struggle with mortal-sized mattresses. If eight feet isn’t long enough for you, I’m concerned, but you actually have one more option. Alaskan King. Boy-howdy, this is a big-ass bed. The Alaskan King is 108 inches by 108 inches, or 9 feet square. Sweet lord. Who needs a bed this large? Well, folks who have more than one child who is “co-sleeping” with them will love the space this bed provides (also if you have a family situation similar to John Denver’s “Grandma’s Feather Bed”). Also, really tall people might like the extra room that guarantees none of their enormous limbs winds up hanging off the bed. Another reason you might want an Alaskan King is the unbeatable motion isolation—if you have a different schedule from the rest of your co-sleepers, you can get in and out of an Alaskan King without disturbing the person sleeping in a different time zone on the other side.

As you can see, most oversize mattresses are useful mainly for families that co-sleep. But don’t let that stop you from asserting dominance in your social circle by installing the largest bed known to humankind installed in your room.