11 Reader Comments on Cousins

Is there anything better than a good cousin hang? Cousins can be like siblings, favorite babysitters, the allies we lock eyes with when the adults are being weird, or the frenemies we fight with every Thanksgiving (almost looking forward to it). So, today, we’re sharing 11 great reader comments…

On secret languages:

“In my family, the phrase used for anything too good to be true is ‘not real cheese.’ It comes from a comment my little cousin made years ago, disparaging Cheez Whiz (‘I mean, it’s kinda yellow and it tastes okay, but it is NOT real cheese’). The raise you’ve been promised? The trip-of-a-lifetime you’ve been saying you’ll take for years? The outfit that looks so cute online and will surely look fabulous in real life? Fun to think about but, just so you know, it’s not real cheese!” — Reba

“Growing up, my Italian-American family would sing Happy Birthday in Italian — then my Nonno would always yell, ‘WHO’S GOING TO EAT THE CANDLE?!’ One day, to everyone’s amazement, my cousin blew out the candle and then promptly stuffed the whole thing in her mouth. We were all in shock. But my Nonno — who’d lived through WWII, poverty, and immigration — broke into belly laughter, tears, and a child-like squeal that I’d never heard before. To this day, at every birthday, my cousins and I yell at each other to eat the candle — which definitely makes newcomers think, ‘This family is crazy.’ I love it.” — Liv

On keeping in touch:

“I have nine cousins in a group chat called ‘The Kids’ Table,’ lovingly named after our longtime Thanksgiving seating arrangements.” — Callie

“When my cousin turned 40, I sent him an email with 40 excellent clips that never fail to make me laugh (the Brooklyn Nine-Nine cold open was in there). When I’m having a rough day I revisit, so really, it was also a gift for me.” — Emily O.

On younger generations:

“One of the unexpected joys of my life is that my cousin now has a son the same age as my little guy. She and I are 12 years apart — I babysat her growing up! — but she started her family at a younger age than I did. So, at 28 and 40, we both have four-year-olds who absolutely adore each other. When they met, my son said, ‘So, is he my cousin or my friend?’ We said ‘Both!’ and they’ve been best friends ever since.” — Hilary

“I once tried to take a touristy trip through Quebec with my four-year-old. She cried the entire week. She worried the hotel rooms wouldn’t have toilets. She missed our kitchen sink. It was adorable and so very frustrating. After that, we decided travel isn’t possible without cousins. I don’t even care what we’re doing, it’s a million times better!” — Sarah

On the birds and the bees:

“My mom used the book method to teach me about puberty and sex. Things like, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret and A Knight in Shining Armor — the latter of which sets up some very unrealistic expectations. But it didn’t matter, because long before my mother started giving me books, my cousin had already told me every detail.” — Tara

“I was so embarrassed when I got my first period (my parents didn’t have open conversations about anything like that). But my cousin was overjoyed! She called our grandma with such enthusiasm. I was stunned to see how proud she was of me, and recalling it even now makes me smile.” — Marie

On quiet escapes:

“During big family gatherings, I would take naps in the coat pile at my aunt’s house in the 1980s. Seven siblings, plus partners, and 20+ cousins made for CHAOS, but the ‘coat room’ was such a sanctuary!” — Heather

On celebrating milestones:

“My cousins fall between myself and my parents, age-wise. During my teen years, they were my allies and advocates. They took me to get my ears pierced (with my mom’s permission — she was too squeamish!). And they lobbied for me to have a phone in my room (it was the ’90s!). I still cherish the memories of doing ‘grown up’ stuff with them.” – Leigh-Anne

“My cousin brought me my first meal after giving birth — spicy salmon sushi, as I requested. She picked it up from the Whole Foods on the Upper West Side. There was only one spicy salmon roll left. Another woman tried to grab it at the same time, and she told her, ‘I’m sorry, but my cousin just gave birth and this is what she asked for. I can’t let you have it.’ And so, I had a spicy salmon roll. I love her.” — RQ

Do you have a great cousin story? We’d love to hear it!

P.S. More great reader comments, and Anton’s cousin soulmate.

(Photo by Stephanie Tamir/Stocksy.)