4 Common Online Dating Scams & How To Avoid Them, According To Experts

Dating apps are an unmatched (pun intended) resource to meet people you might not come across in “real life.” They can be fun, exciting, and extremely beneficial to your dating life. To maximize your experience, it’s crucial to be mindful of dating app safety. 

Psychotherapist Kelly Scott, LHMC, points out that dating in itself opens you up to vulnerability. “There’s a lot of physical and emotional vulnerability in dating,” she says. “When we are making decisions that make us vulnerable, we need to also be thinking about safety.” 

Many of the best dating apps have safety features in place, but there are also online dating safety precautions you can take on your own—and there are specific ways to identify red flags for online dating, too.

Why is dating app safety important?

Online dating opens you to many unique people with diverse backgrounds and perspectives. And, while this is great, it inevitably opens you up to people who may not have the best of intentions.

Pure consultant and dating expert, Anna Hintsyak, stresses that catfishing, blackmailing, and scams are something you’ll obviously be opening yourself up to with online dating—but being aware of these things and arming yourself with knowledge keeps you empowered and confident.

How do you stay safe while dating online?

Scott and Hintsyak shared a few key dating app safety tips to keep in mind during your online dating journey.

Get familiar with your own comfort and discomfort levels. 

If you’re feeling uncomfortable with an interaction you’re having with someone, or how their profile makes you feel, investigate that feeling. Discomfort may not be a deal breaker, but it’s a feeling worth exploring.

Don’t give people passes.

If you’re dating with the goal of finding something serious, it can be tempting to give passes for unacceptable behavior. And while kindness and forgiveness are important, strangers should earn your trust.

Try a video call.

Many dating apps have the option to do a video call right within the platform itself. These video calls allow you to vet the person and avoid being catfished. They’re also a great way to take some pressure off that first face-to-face conversation!

Don’t follow each other on social media or share phone numbers immediately.

Wait until you’ve had a proper chat on the app before you give out your phone number on dating apps or give access to your social media profiles. This maintains a safe and healthy boundary while you get to know the person better. 

We also recommend against connecting your social media with your profile—and this could help encourage meeting in real life sooner, rather than getting stuck in the “pen pal” stage.

Be careful about the pictures you share.

It’s important to build trust before you share intimate pictures with someone. These people are essentially strangers, and you never know how your own photos could be used against you. 

To be extra safe, try dating apps that don’t allow screenshots, such as Raya, Badoo, or Pure.

Never share financial information. 

This one is as cut and dried as they get: Do not give sensitive information to a stranger online. No matter what a person says, there is never a reason to share your private financial information.

If someone does ask for this information, report them and unmatch.

How to stay safe when meeting in person

Once you’ve connected with someone on a dating app and scheduled a date, there are some extra safety precautions to consider. Here’s what our experts recommend.

Always meet in public places.

Go to a cafe, bar, or park where you’ll be around a lot of other people. Avoid going on a hike or anywhere secluded for an early date.

Tell at least one close family member or friend where you’re going.

Before going on your date, let another person know where you’ll be. Even better, enable location sharing to be extra cautious. You’ll feel safer knowing someone else knows where you are—so you can just relax and enjoy the date!

Stick to your alcohol limits. 

It’s always best not to drink too much on a first date. Doing so may put you in a compromised position in which your judgment may be impaired. 

Know what your limits are, and then stick to it. If you aren’t comfortable drinking, suggest another activity!

Arrange your own transportation.

Getting picked up for a date can feel romantic and all, but save that for once you know them better. You’ll be comforted knowing you can leave any time, and you won’t be alone with the person while they’re still a stranger.

Pay attention

Scott emphasizes the age-old advice that people will show you who they are. In the beginning stages of getting to know someone, pay close attention to their actions, not just their words.

Common online dating scams

Online dating generally offers more good than bad. Still, Hintsyak notes that it’s an easy place for scammers to surface—and they can sometimes pop back up by creating fake profiles.

Sextortion

As noted, it’s extremely important to be careful about the images you choose to share online. Some scammers will ask for explicit pictures and then demand money in exchange for not sharing them.

Catfishing

Perhaps the most common online scam, catfishing is when an individual assumes a false identity to pursue a romantic or emotional relationship. These scammers typically take time to build trust with you to extract personal information. 

Because of this, Scott says it’s important to meet someone in person sooner rather than later. It’s far more difficult for someone to hide who they truly are in real life.

Military Romance

In a military romance scam, someone will pose as a soldier with an entirely fake profile. They take their time talking on a dating site or app and claim that they’ve been deployed before there is time to meet in person. 

Once they feel they’ve built trust, they’ll ask for money for a flight home, or something more. Some military romance scams are so elaborate that they will work with groups of people who pose as military doctors or lawyers as accomplices.

Again, be weary of people who avoid wanting to meet you in real life—and never send someone money online.

Third-Party Links

This scam doesn’t actually involve a specific person you’re connecting with on an app. It may come through as a text from someone posing to be a dating app, such as Bumble or Hinge. 

The text may say they’re asking you to verify your information, prompting you to click on the link. It’s best to avoid clicking that link to begin with. 

If you do accidentally click, you may be prompted to enter personal details including your social security number or even bank account details. Do not share this information.

If you’re unsure whether this is a scam or not, simply contact customer support at the app in question.

What personal information should you not share online?

While we like to think most most users have good intentions, it’s best to err on the side of caution with online dating. To do so, keep conversations on dating apps light. 

Avoid sharing financial information, your social security number, bank account details, or intimate images of yourself.

Our experts also recommended waiting to exchange phone numbers or social media accounts before you meet in real life.

The takeaway

Online dating is an amazing way to find your ideal match based upon what exactly you’re looking for. To maximize your chances of having the most fun possible, it’s good to be mindful of dating app safety. If you’re looking for a commitment, check out our guide to the best dating apps for serious relationships.