50 Cute Ways To Start A Conversation On A Dating App (Even If You're Kinda Shy)

How to start a conversation on Bumble with a guy:

Emphasis on meaningful. “Open-ended questions are great because they pull for a return response,” says licensed clinical psychologist and relationship coach Jaime Zuckerman, Psy.D. These types of questions can’t be answered with just one word. Your match will have to respond in a manner that helps move the conversation forward. It’s the difference between asking “Did you have a good day?” and the more open-ended “What was the best part of your day?”

“Mention something that the two of you may share as a common interest based on their profile (e.g., an activity, something family-related, traveling, etc.),” Zuckerman recommends, adding that an example would be, “Oh wow! I love hiking too. Where is your favorite place to hike?”

Everything you need to jumpstart engaging dialogue is right there at your fingertips. Andrews suggests studying his profile before sending your first message. “Sometimes he will make it easy for you and add a conversation starter in the bio for you to use,” she says. If there are no such pre-drafted icebreakers, Andrews also recommends asking an open-ended question that relates to his bio. The answer should give you enough information to ask a follow-up question.

“I’m an advocate for being the first to start the conversation,” Andrews says. Women in particular can sometimes be nervous about taking the lead, she notes, but she reminds that if the guy is genuinely interested in you, he’ll happily meet your energy.

How to start a conversation on Bumble with a girl:

If she already made the first move, now you have an opening to pursue her and help carry the conversation. Zuckerman recommends doing this by being mindful of her tone. “One thing to pay attention to is the girl’s messaging style,” she says. “Try to match it. If it's humor, use humor back.”

“Ask them a question within the same topic they asked you,” Zuckerman suggests. That way you two can continue discussing known mutual interests. For instance, if asked about your affinity for hiking and your match enjoys it too, respond with something like, “I love to hike out west. Where’s your favorite place to hike?”

Just as the experts recommend leading with an open-ended question, Zuckerman suggests continuing this trend to keep conversation flowing. Respond with an open-ended question of your own.

As important as knowing how to respond is knowing how not to respond. It’s OK to be fun and a bit flirty, but sending the wrong message can kill whatever positive vibes you may have established. Zuckerman recommends avoiding starting with sexual or extremely personal questions, sending lewd pictures, or asking your match to send you lewd pictures.

Best opening lines for Bumble:

Ohhh, so you think you’re a good cook? I see a competition brewing.

Zuckerman points out the effectiveness of light humor in sparking conversation. “If you feel comfortable, start with a joke,” she says. “This is always a terrific way to get a response. Just make sure it’s a benign joke and not one that would be viewed as offensive.”

I love that movie too! What about it speaks to you?.

This line highlights a commonality and does the job of an open-ended question by prompting a thoughtful response. You can replace “movie” with song, television show, book, or any other form of media. Discussing how and when the two of you discovered something you both love can frame the entire opening exchange.

You’re handsome, you read a lot, and you’re funny. What’s the catch?

Both Zuckerman and Andrews agree that you can’t go wrong with a respectful compliment. This one doesn’t just note physical appearance, but also your appreciation for his intellect and sense of humor.

I love your dog! What’s his favorite treat so I know to have it on me when I meet him?

Because who doesn’t jump at the opportunity to talk about their furry friends? With this opening line you show that the pet who's clearly important to your match is also important to you. Plus, you subtly insinuate plans to meet them both.    

What's your idea of a perfect first date?

This line accomplishes a few things. It’s another open-ended question that requires reflection. It demonstrates interest in getting to know your match. It also presents the idea of going on a first date—a perfect one at that. Let the fairytale begin.

So, I had a rough one today! How was your day?

“Be sincere. Be authentic,” Zuckerman encourages. Don’t be afraid to just ask the simple question of how someone’s day went and admit yours has been challenging. You don’t want to be a downer, but it’s OK to be vulnerable.

You can have any superpower for one day. What are you picking?

Remember, the goal with an opening line is to spark engaging dialogue. You want to ask unique, fun questions like this that give your match something to think about.

I saw you ate at that new restaurant in the city! I’ve been wanting to go there. What did you think of it?

“Ask them to tell you more about something in their profile,” suggests Zuckerman. “Maybe you see something that they are reading, or a restaurant they visited.” With this line, your match may even present the idea of meeting at the restaurant so you can check it out.

I went to that concert too! What was the best part of the show for you?

If you notice the two of you attended the same event, this is an easy conversation starter. It highlights something you have in common and would both enjoy discussing. You can also adapt this to any interests that the two of you appear to have in common based on their profile. 

Looks like you’ve had some fun travel experiences.

If you don’t want to ask a question, a remark about something your match has done or is clearly interested in can have the same effect. Mentioning something like the travel destinations displayed on his profile will prompt him to go into detail, and perhaps ask about your travel history.

If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would it be?

Hey, they might answer with “you.” If not, you’ll learn more about your match from their desired dinner date as there’s likely a reason behind the choice.

You should know I’m much funnier and more interesting than my profile suggests.

It’s not easy to convey your entire existence through a few lines and photos on a dating profile. Not taking yourself too seriously allows others to do the same. This line will give your match a good chuckle and set a relaxed tone for the ensuing conversation.

Cute first messages:

The takeaway.