7 Ways To Become Better At Listening To Yourself & Your Intuition

Listening is a natural instinct, just like eating, breathing, or sleeping. We’re born good listeners, but somewhere along the way most of us forget how to listen. Sometimes it’s safer for us, emotionally, to block out the things around us and close ourselves off. 

But when done thoughtfully in safe conditions, listening can be a form of care. It’s a way to make space for people and uplift their voices. Listening helps us become better partners, better coworkers1, better friends—and it even has health benefits. Listening lowers cortisol levels, which helps us to relax, and in turn helps us open up to the listening process.  

But there is a reason we don’t listen more: most of us are caught up in various stress responses due to daily pressures in our lives. Individual and collective trauma, illness, corporate burnout, compassion fatigue, and many more obstacles face us each day. Our bodies need to be relaxed in order for us to truly listen—but if we can’t relax, how can we listen? 

When you listen to all the parts of yourself, you offer healing and attention to areas that have been ignored. And as you do this for yourself, you practice doing it for others.

This kind of listening has very little to do with sound coming in through the ears. It’s about offering your full presence and attention to the world around you. Begin by offering yourself your full attention.  

The best, most time-honored way to deepen your listening is through stillness and relaxation practices. They strengthen an overall orientation toward stillness. Some may work better for you than others.  

You can achieve meaningful listening results by practicing one or more of these relaxation exercises, meditations, and breath exercises: 

The best place to start listening is with yourself. Listen to the stories your body is holding—the stories your body is cooing, singing, or screaming, and the stories your body is whispering or keeping to itself.

Offer yourself a body scan, beginning with the soles of your feet and moving upward. Ask each part of you if it has a message to give you. Some parts may be louder than others. They may speak in pain, pleasure, temperature, or tension. Be receptive to it all. 

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2.

Allow yourself to relax

Stories need digesting, just like food. Take time to rest and listen attentively to the stories you’re carrying. This might take the form of a nap, a yoga class, or a run. Whatever you do to find relaxation and release will work.

An easy practice to take with you as you move through the world is to take a few rounds of breath to center yourself before entering a conversation, and again after the conversation has ended. 

Meditation is a form of listening. Try seeking out moments of silence throughout the day and embracing them. Begin with one minute, then three minutes, and move up from there.

As you listen, you can begin to embody your own healing potential for yourself and for those around you.  

4.

Listen to your ancestors

Old stories impact your creative life. They can carry inspiration and guidance. Sometimes their voices encourage and sometimes they hinder.

Your ancestors also don’t need to be blood relatives. They can be important influences and guides, both real and imagined. You can ask them questions aloud or in your mind, write letters, connect with images or relics—it’s personal and up to you. 

Every emotion has a natural wavelength—a beginning, middle, and end. And every emotion has an inherent wisdom and message. Emotions exist to direct our actions.

For example, anger can inspire action, sadness can inspire slowing down, happiness can inspire connection, and so on, but we often cut them short and lose meaning in the process. Let your feelings rise and fall. Label them and sit with them.  

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