Amy Robach Recalls 'Terrifying' Welfare Check She Did on T.J. Holmes, Says There Were Days She 'Wanted to Die'

Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes are finally telling their side of the story a year after the scandal that cost them their jobs at Good Morning America's GMA3. 

The couple and former co-anchors launched their tell-all iHeartRadio podcast, Amy & T.J., on Tuesday, detailing their side of their relationship and the fallout surrounding their private romance in November 2022. 

"We have fought for love and I can say that I've never been happier. I am with my best friend," Robach, 50, shares. "We have gone through, I think it's fair to say, a year of hell, but we have had each other through it all."

And while the couple believe they are stronger than ever now, Robach and Holmes, 46, are candid about their mental and emotional struggles in the wake of the fallout. 

Robach shares a "terrifying" story of having to do a "wellness check" on Holmes in the days after photos of them together leaked online. 

Admitting that he was sending Robach texts in the "past tense," Holmes said he didn't understand how he was sounding at the time. 

"When I was sending them to you, I didn't know how I was sounding," Holmes says. "I'm not sure where my head was at that time."

Robach says that Holmes' messages read, "I'm sorry, you were the love of my life. I'm so sorry this has happened." 

The journalist says she asked Holmes to confirm he was OK and he didn't respond. She also received messages from the production crew on their show saying they couldn't reach Holmes. 

"I start to panic," she says. "I was so afraid that he had done something."

Robach's father went with her to Holmes' apartment, and she describes herself as "pretty hysterical" going there. 

"I remember going down the hall, opening the door, and my dad came in with me. And I saw you and you were just splayed out on your bed," an emotional Robach recounts. "I ran to you. I said, 'T.J.!' and you didn't move. And I remember, it was the most awful thing, having to touch your body to see if you were warm. I was so afraid. You were just incoherent."

She says that while he was "making no sense," Robach did know that Holmes was alive as he spoke to her. 

Holmes shares that the situation occurred after he left work and "immediately started pounding vodka." 

"I didn't stop for several hours. I took who knows how many weed edibles, and that's how I ended up in the state I was in," Holmes recalls. 

"That combination was terrifying. You weren't moving and I'll never forget that night," Robach says. 

But Holmes wasn't the only one struggling with their mental health. Robach, a breast cancer survivor, says that this battle proved to be more challenging than her previous health fight. 

"You go through cancer, and, yes, you're afraid to die, but you're fighting to live," she says. "And you've got all these people around you, supporting you and cheering you on, and you feel this collective hug from people who are lifting you up when you're scared and you're going through all of these treatments. But this year, I wanted to die. There were days where I wanted to die and that was something I'd never experienced before in my life. I just didn't want to get up. I didn't want to see what new headline was going to be out there."

Now the couple is moving forward in their lives together, with Robach calling the past year a "total reset."

"It has been the most beautiful relationship I have ever had in my life," she says. 

"I am in love with this woman and she's in love with me and we're planning a life together," Holmes adds. 

The couple's private romance was leaked in November 2022 while they were still married to other people. The TV stars were privately separated from their respective spouses at the time. They claim that while ABC acknowledged that they hadn't violated any company policy with their relationship, they were said to be causing a distraction and ultimately forced out of their roles. 

Robach finalized her divorce from Andrew Shue in March, and Holmes settled his divorce from Marilee Fiebig in October. 

Robach shares two daughters with her ex-husband, Tim McIntosh, whom she divorced in 2009. Holmes shares daughter Sabine with Fiebig. 

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