Cashing In On Memory Dividends

My wife and I are celebrating our 35th wedding anniversary this year (and 38 years of being a couple). While on a public ferry in Luxor, Egypt we quizzed each other on the many other ferry boats we had ridden together. We each remembered examples the other hadn’t. It was a fun walk down memory lane from the British Columbia ferry we rode on our honeymoon to a recent public row boat from the cities of Rabat to Salé across the Bou Regreg river in Morocco. 

In another example, my Uncle Dave (on my wife’s side) passed away recently. When reminiscing about what a great uncle he was with Aunt Bonnie (his wife), I pulled up my photos on my laptop of Uncle Dave using our photo software face recognition feature. Aunt Bonnie and I had a lovely moment together reminiscing and celebrating her husband’s life and how he had been a part of our lives. 

In each of these examples we were cashing in on our memory dividends. And by doing it with someone close, we enjoyed it even more.

The power of compounding is an important part of a financial plan. Over many years (decades) interest and dividends earned from investments grows exponentially and can outgrow the original amount invested. Memory dividends work similarly and I would argue are more important investments than our financial ones. We have the opportunity to create lasting memories everyday with ourselves and with our friends and family. But often we could do better in taking the time to cement them in our memories so we don’t forgo opportunities to enjoy them later.  

Here are a few ideas to help maximize our memory dividends—both for making them and for cashing them in. 

Invest in Close Long-Term Relationships (and cash in on those investments regularly)

Having hundreds of “friends” on social media is not the same as having several close friends (and family) that you invest quality time with. While Facebook attempts to leverage the power of memory dividends by frequently reminding us of our old posts (which often make me smile), it misses the bigger point of building long-term, real human relationships. 

I have known my oldest friend since the 5th grade. Other than a year as college roommates, we haven’t lived near each other for going on 40 years. But we have worked to stay connected through letters (yes, before email), phone calls, and hanging out when visiting back home. Looking to invest even more in our friendship, we created a new tradition in 2011. Each year since (COVID excepted) we have enjoyed a long weekend in a city somewhere around the country to see a football or baseball game together. The game is an excuse—we just hang out and catch up on the world and each other. We joke about our joint high school graduation speech that I screwed up, reminisce about our time in college, analyze our favorite sports teams, and share about our kids whom we both know so well. We invest in each other and we cash in on our memories together. 

I now similarly connect with my family and other close friends. As a full-time world traveler, I have numerous scheduled video calls each week with family and friends to help keep these connections strong when I am far away. When I am back in the US, I spend months visiting with family and friends—making new memories and cashing in on the dividends from these long-term relationships.

Investing the vast majority of our limited time into our closest relationships provides the highest return in memory dividends.

Divest of middling and casual relationships.

When I became a minimalist, I divested of the physical possessions and tasks that did not support my top values. This meant letting go of things I liked but were preventing me from achieving what I wanted to do the most. It changed who I was. 

Likewise I divested of relationships that were preventing me from fully focusing on the close family and friends I wanted to invest more in. When I retired early, I discovered that most of my work friends were just that—friends at work. Once I stopped working, these friendships quickly dissipated as they were not built on a deep human connection, but one of a temporary nature to fulfill a professional need. To be clear, I am happy to answer a phone call, email, text message, or chat during a chance encounter, but I no longer proactively invest in peripheral relationships. Instead, I redirect my limited resources into more meaningful long-term relationships—with a focus on spending quality time in person. 

We need to be careful not to spread ourselves too thin and inadvertently starve the relationships that mean the most to us. 

Make The Day-To-Day A Little More Memorable

While it is easier to recount fabulous vacations to exotic places like Egypt, the Grand Canyon, or other exciting and photo-worthy destinations, don’t forget to make memories in your day-to-day life. Having a weekly family game night, pancakes on Sunday mornings, frequent local camping trips, and time reading books aloud together all helped mark our time spent together with family and friends. For example, to make our family staycations more fun and memorable, our family of four each took charge of a day. During each person’s day they made a meal, picked a place to eat out and decided on the entertainment for the day which varied to include, board games, bake-offs, museums, movies, lots of hikes, and once even an escape room. One person was in charge and the rest of the family agreed to happily follow (reducing decision fatigue!). We started this tradition when our kids were a bit older and we made fabulous memories that we enjoy reliving together.     

Take Photos and Look at Them

We tend to take a lot of photos of our time on vacation, when our children are young, and at big events (weddings, graduations, holidays, and sporting events). But we often don’t take a photo of playing a board game together, sharing a home-cooked meal, or of a walk together along the neighborhood trails. Don’t let the memories of the enjoyment of day-to-day life go undocumented. Having a lot of great photos is one thing, but looking at them is another.   

If you were born before 1980, you probably have a sizable portion of your photos as hard copies—my wife and I certainly did. Scanning in over 7,000 pics was a lot of work, but well worth it. Now our pictures are always with us and we can easily search by date, topic, location, or face. My dad was recently on my mind (he passed away from Alzheimer’s in 2024), so even though I was abroad, I pulled up my photos of him to remind me. 

We have looked at and shared these old photos more in the last 18 months than we had in the last 20 years! When we start reminiscing with our family and friends we are quick to share photos of those times together.

Reminisce

We can strengthen our memories through recall. We can certainly do this ourselves. I keep a list of all of the books I have read (at least the books I could remember when I made the list in 2009). I enjoy being reminded of the stories and concepts as I occasionally peruse the list. Keeping a journal can help. I have long-resisted keeping a diary or journaling. Honestly it sounded hokey. But my wife journals everyday and I have come to appreciate its value. She keeps a simple record of where we were, who we saw, what we did and ate each day. It has been invaluable in helping us cash in on memory dividends.

Reminiscing alone is certainly good, but doing it with family and friends compounds the memory dividends as you help each other remember even more than you would by yourself and we get to enjoy them together. This can be done in many ways. My wife and I created a list of how we celebrated our wedding anniversaries each year and of the plays we have seen together. We keep a small box of “What we are grateful for” that we bring out each Thanksgiving. We enjoy reading what we wrote from years past and we complete a new card, investing for future memory dividends. 

Quizzes help us learn school materials and they can be a fun game with family and friends to help us reminisce together and strengthen our memories. My daughter is great at coming up with fun quizzes (our favorite camping spot?, favorite food on vacation?, our favorite home exchange?, and so on) that get us all sharing fun memories together. We will often quiz each other at the end of a vacation which helps cement our memories and starts cashing in on our memory dividends we just made—no need to wait!

Investing in memories and cashing in on them isn’t about living in the past. It is about enjoying your life today with those closest to you and building a life of contentment. Make new memories AND make time to cash in on these memory investments with family and friends.

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About the Author: Justin Hall retired early from civil service, let go of 98 percent of his possessions, and travels the world full-time with his wife. Find him at Living The FIgh Life.