How Competition Made Me Less Successful

I have, unfortunately, viewed most of my life through the lens of competition.

I could blame it on growing up with a twin brother who is 6 inches taller and 40 pounds heavier with much broader shoulders. I could blame it on my love for sports or board games. I could blame it on countless plot lines and movies that stacked one side versus the other and glamorized the victor. But most likely, competition is just the default position of my heart.

And to be fair, it’s not all bad. Viewing life as competition has motivated me to work harder at school, work, and personal growth. It has prompted discipline and perseverance. After all, it can be really tough to win if someone else is working harder than you.

But I am beginning to see there may be a better way to live—one that focuses less on competition and more on encouragement.

It all started with my decision to run a marathon a few years ago. Finishing a marathon had always been a life dream. And the Vermont City Marathon with its beautiful scenery, quaint New England atmosphere, and community-wide appreciation proved to be a motivating opportunity.

Turning that dream into a reality proved to be far more life-transforming than I thought. While I assumed the accomplishment would be about physical fitness and mental toughness, it eventually became something greater. And in the end, it taught me countless lessons about people, life, and teamwork.

Also, it taught me the importance of competing less and encouraging more.

Marathon runners understand an important race principle: There is room at the finish line for every runner.

The 26.2 mile race is difficult for everyone (well, at least the runners I run with). Because the journey is so difficult, the race quickly becomes something greater than winning and losing. It becomes about the challenge, the experience, the unity of a common goal, and the opportunity to help someone else cross the finish line with you.

As a result, the entire route is filled with encouragement from bystanders and competitors completely committed to running well and helping other racers finish strong.

I have come to realize the mindset of competition is often based on a faulty premise.

It assumes there is a finite sized pie for success—that success in another’s life equals one less opportunity for success in mine. But quite frankly, often times, this thinking is incorrect. Whether we are discussing athletic goals, business pursuits, personal growth, or spiritual life change, the size of the pie is not finite.

In reality, the pie keeps growing. Another person’s success does not mean I have one less shot at it. In fact, another person’s success can actually become my success if I had opportunity to encourage and promote them along the way!

Viewing life only as competition has terrible drawbacks.

It pursues success for only the self. It breeds jealousy and envy. It withholds encouragement. It mistreats others on its way to the finish line. A world divided into winners and losers is one that misses opportunity to show grace.

And when the race is a spiritual one, these negative effects can be even more dangerous—especially in a world that already bends itself away from spiritual pursuits.

Our world needs people who compete less and encourage more. It desires us to be liberal with our encouragement and quick to celebrate the accomplishments of others. Look for talented people and invest into their success. Avoid speaking negatively of others.  

Love, cheer, share ideas, and redirect praise.

There is room at the finish line for all of us.

I just wish it hadn’t taken a 4½ hour run for me to figure that out.