The Real Reason You Feel Stuck

Do you ever wonder why you don’t do what you set out to do?

It may look like joining a gym, but not going the amount of times you committed to.

It may look like not showing up on social media even though you planned to for business growth.

Here’s the good news.

There’s a name for it and a new perspective you can try on so that you can make thoughtful strides to your big, bold, vision and finally do what you set out to do.

First, the Greek word for this is ‘Akrasia’ and its definition is ‘weakness of will; acting in a way contrary to one’s sincerely held moral values.

So, now that you have a name for this human phenomenon, you’ll be able to call it out when you experience it.

Now, it’s at this point that I want to remind you not to beat yourself up over this.

We all experience it, and it’s not our fault.

Allow me to explain.

You actually have two brains.

I like to call them the Automatic Brain and the Intentional Brain. They compete with each other and usually the automatic brain wins.

Your automatic brain wants to keep you safe from any and all fear and discomfort and anything that might lead to death.

If you think about our ancestors, they could literally die if they stepped out of the cave.

Poisonous berries and bears were a really real threat that caused certain death.

So now, as modern humans trying to lead an intentional life…we are subject to our automatic brain that senses discomfort.

When we sign up for the gym and don’t go…there’s a very real moment to explore right before going but deciding not to.

For me, about 20 minutes before getting in the car to go to the gym…my automatic brain starts talking to me. It says things like:

You don’t have anything decent to wear.

You’re not looking your best and no one wants to see that.

It’s cold and rainy outside. Why don’t we just stay in.

And so…I decided not to go to the gym. This happened more times than I want to admit.

But before I had a name for this, Akrasia, and before I knew about neuroscience and training my brain, I would beat myself up and do the opposite of what I wanted to do and close myself up in the pantry snacking on things I said I wouldn’t snack on.

Further falling into the trap of the automatic brain.

You see, those three things my brain offered to me were things it felt were fearful and would cause a lot of discomfort for me.

My brain…in the moment right before I’m supposed to go to the gym, actually thinks I might die by venturing out in inappropriate clothing, tired eyes and cold temperatures.

Fear + Judgement = Death for my brain and yours.

It’s why only 20% of us…or 1 in 5 of our friends, actually achieves what they set out to achieve.

What are we to do about this?

Well, now that you have an awareness of what’s really going on, we have to learn how to use our intentional brain to override our automatic brain in the moment.

We actually have to talk to our automatic brain and tell it that our big, bold, vision is just on the other side of this discomfort and this discomfort is not going to result in our death…but in the life we most want.

We have to tell it that the result is greater than the resistance.

Imagine being that intentional on the way to your dream.

What would it mean for you to gain the awareness to say, “uh, oh…brain, I see you and we are going to do it anyway.”

Would you go to the gym more often? And show up to that wedding, high school reunion, date feeling incredible?

Would you show up on social media knowing that your business can change lives and that your offer is a gift?

Here are some practical steps you can take to override your automatic brain and live an intentional life.

First, write down all of the thoughts you are having about the situation. These are the sentences in your mind that are keeping you stuck. Have a look at them.

Then, try to identify the one that’s making you feel the one negative feeling that keeps you stuck in the same place (whether on the couch and not at the gym or behind your social media feed instead of posting).

Is the feeling:

Fear
Discomfort
Resigned

Then, identify the inaction you are taking…not going to the gym…not posting on social media.

And then identify the actions you are taking from those negative feelings…

Going to the pantry instead of the gym. Scrolling instead of posting.

This is the real reason you are stuck.

What if I told you that this was all optional?

If you don’t want to stay on automatic…you have to think differently.

The first step is becoming aware. Which you have done now…bravo!

The next practical step is deciding how you want to feel…intentionally.

If you’re goal is to go to the gym a certain amount of times each week…how do you need to feel?

Motivated?
Dedicated?
Committed?

One intentional thought can create one of those feelings.

Try some on.

How about…

Who cares what people think I look like now…I’m going to look incredible on the beach in Hawaii. *Result over resistance

Yes brain…we are and look tired, but so might everyone else. Who cares?

My life is a gift. I deserve to show up even when it might be uncomfortable.

Your thoughts have the power to create the results you want most in your life.

Let’s think intentionally about them so you can experience the YOU living into your big, bold vision.

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About the Author: Tammy Cannon offers a calm and judgement-free zone helping high-achievers cross the intersection of where they are now (stuck) to what they want most (their big, bold vision). She is the founder of Better Life Binge, where she helps female leaders have better lives so they can have a bigger impact in their homes, their work and in their communities. Find more from Tammy here.