These Are the New Rules for Tipping, According to Lifehacker Readers

Recently, Lifehacker asked whether our readers tip every time they’re asked. Point-of-sale gratuities are more and more common, showing up in previously straight-forward transactions like buying a coffee, picking up some takeout, or even buying some groceries at the store, so we’re hoping to get a feel for the new etiquette and expectations here. I’d like to report that there’s a consensus, a set of hard rules for who to tip, when, and how much—but it’s complicated.

There is nearly universal agreement among our readers that asking for tips for previously un-tipped services and goods sucks. 1stlewiss summed up the annoyance this way: “Many of my local convenience stores now have the PoS tip option. I guess they think because they sell bougie sandwiches (not made by them), craft beer, and locally made pastries (again, not by them) that you will tip. I just bought a bag of chips and an overpriced six pack and you rung it up. Why exactly do you want me to pay extra?” But even though almost everyone says the hate the “new tipping,” that doesn’t mean people aren’t doing it.

Mixed reactions to novel gratuities

While a number of readers laid out hard-and-fast, “I don’t tip at those places” stances—like spanchal257, who wrote, “If they are doing the bare minimum between me and getting the item I want, (ie getting coffee and they fill a cup from a dispenser), no reason to tip,” and radioout, who posted, “I tip at the customary places/services. What I don’t like is the PoS tipping. I may or may not [put] a buck or change in a tip cup; but at least that’s not intrusive”—many readers have a more nuanced view. As platypus222 puts its, “I do a lot of takeout and whether I tip there varies. Some places it feels like you’re really making more work for them when you get takeout, others just put your food on a shelf and have people take what’s their’s based on the honor system.”

Tipping before services are provided is universally hated

An aspect of tipping that people particularly hate is deciding on the tip before any services are provided. This comes up all the time in delivery apps that have you specify a tip before your food arrives. JoshMC2 has their own solution to this modern problem, and a suggestion for Postmates, et al: “I wish they’d send the option to tip after I get home and have my meal, maybe a few hours afterward some sort of prompt hits my email along with a “how was the service/order accuracy?” survey of sorts. I’ve taken to creating a “how was it last time?” list and having to adjust the tipping for the next order, which I know could hit the pockets of people who had nothing to do with the previous order, but it’s the best I can come up with.”

The emotional side of tipping

Many users report that new tipping requirements can be an emotional experience, and the emotions aren’t positive ones. “I’m incredibly annoyed with how seemingly every place I go now expects me to tip. Even though I’m annoyed, I usually do anyway out of guilt,” Panthercougar posted. “I’m fortunate to make a good living and the implied expectation of a tip makes me feel petty if I don’t leave one.”

User shes-got-a-way agreed, and added another nuance to the tip-or-not discussion: “I would feel guilty for awhile not tipping at grab-and-go type places but I realized it kind of diminishes the extra work that actual servers put in if we are all suddenly tipping the same 20% at Sweetgreen as an actual restaurant, doesn’t it?”

How new tipping may be changing old habits

For some of you, businesses constantly putting out their hands has resulted in changing buying habits. Thundercatsridesagain said, “I’ve honestly cut down on both my eating out and my takeaway orders because of tipping fatigue.”

User rank19 laid out a vote-with-your-wallet strategy that rewards businesses who don’t ask for unwarranted extra money. “1. I tip every time 2. If the request/suggestion for a tip is unwarranted or the prefilled amounts are stupidly high, I don’t go back to that business.”

Going full Steve Buscemi in Reservoir Dogs

The easiest solution to all of this is just not tipping anyone at all, ever; some readers, like NothingAmazing are going full Mr. Pink. “I don’t tip anymore. I’m embarrassed to have ever tipped, honestly. To have fallen for the scam, and simply done a thing because ‘that’s how it is,’ or ‘because everybody else does it.’” They added, “If you require a tip from me, then I will not do business with you.”

Ultimately, tipping remains a personal decision

I haven’t mustered the mental energy to come up with a set of personal rules around tipping, but this seems to be the way forward if you want to avoid the momentary awkwardness of standing at a Starbuck’s counter and thinking, “do I really want to pay extra?”

Reader cfer laid out their own rules; feel free to adopt, modify, or dismiss them:

1. Sit-down restaurant - ~20%

2. Fast-Casual (not fast food) if the kiddo is with us because I know she’ll make a mess and that’s extra work. 10% or a few bucks depending on the place and how much of a mess I think she’ll leave behind.

3. Pickup/Take out - 10% or a few bucks depending on the place and how much food we ordered. They take time to package it up and ensure everything is there.

4. Bars - $1-2 a drink, depending on what it is I’m ordering.

5. Tattoos, Haircuts, etc. vary but I tip them.