What An INFP Is Like In Relationships—Plus, Who They Should Date

The INFP personality type is quiet and reserved, as well as creative, thoughtful, and values-driven. They generally tend to be empathetic and supportive partners—sometimes to a fault.

According to to Dario Nardi, Ph.D., a personality expert and author of Neuroscience of Personality, the INFP's telltale sensitivity and idealism can make them put their partner on a pedestal to the point that they aren't seeing them clearly.

Beyond that, this is a personality type who is loyal in relationships and doesn't want to follow prescribed social norms. "Instead, they patiently attend to their partner’s unique feelings and needs," Nardi explains, adding, "Over time, they can take the person ever closer to his or her core self."

That's why, according to licensed therapist De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar, MSW, LCSW-S, CST, it's important for the INFP to approach relationships with a touch of realism. Being so caring and sensitive, it's not uncommon for this type to get steamrolled by a more intense personality. Finding a partner with the right personality type can help them avoid these challenges.

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According to Blaylock-Solar, the INFP may find the most relationship success with other NF types (ENFJ, ENFP, and INFJ), as well as ESFJs. For one thing, research suggests that if two people are the same when it comes to intuition/feeling (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ), there's already a greater than 70% chance of compatibility—and that's because these people will process and experience the world in similar ways.

The N (for intuition) is given to people who lean more toward abstract thinking and interpretation when gathering information, while the F (for Feeling) designates people who are more drawn to the realm of emotions, relationships, and values. As board-certified clinical psychologist Kristina Hallett, Ph.D., ABPP, previously explained to mindbodygreen, NF people will have "an easier time understanding and connecting with someone else who is also able to use and rely on feelings, connection to others, and big-picture thinking."

Additionally, as Blaylock-Solar explains, it's important for an INFP to have a partner who can help balance some of the areas they struggle with. Namely, INFPs can be big-picture thinkers who are sometimes indecisive, so having a partner with the Judging trait (as opposed to Perceiving), can help INFPs stay on track and get things done.

Similarly, INFPs can be more reserved, despite craving connection. Someone who is more extroverted, while still sharing those intuitive and feeling qualities, would likely mesh well with an INFP and help bring them out of their shell, Blaylock-Solar says.

As for the least compatible romantic partners for an INFP, according to Blaylock-Solar, we're looking at the Thinking-Judging types (ISTJ, ESTJ, ENTJ, and less so, INTJ.) Remember, INFPs are extremely emotionally sensitive, and those who display a combination of Thinking and Judging characteristics are not typically ones for sensitivity.

"These types might be rough matches, because they're very straightforward, and INFP may be sensitive to that type of direct objection or criticism," Blaylock-Solar explains. She adds that an INFP might be attracted to this energy at first, but will quickly grow tired of it.

An INFP and INTJ matchup may not struggle with that dynamic as much, thanks to their mutual intuitive and introverted natures, but the INTJ would still want to be extra respectful to their INFP, and the INFP might need slightly thicker skin to make this pair work.

Notably, it's not that these types will be impossible to pair with an INFP; it's just that they might not click as easily as naturally as other duos.

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An INFP and INFJ make a great match. Sharing their intuitive and feeling qualities, and also both being introverted, these two often feel like home to each other. Plus, the one difference in perceiving versus judging allows for a healthy balance of structure and spontaneity, Blaylock-Solar tells mindbodygreen.

"Both of them share those INF qualities, and where INFPs a bit more flexible, INFJs thrive with being a bit more regimented," she explains. "So they could be a really good pair because they have so much in common, and with those differences they just have to have very clear communication about expectations."

(Here's our deep dive into INFJ compatibility for more info if you're curious about that, too.)

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INFPs and ENFPs are another pair that are very similar with one major difference: introversion versus extroversion. These two share their intuitive, feeling, and perceiving qualities, but ENFP is going to be much more social than INFP.

As such, Blaylock-Solar notes, "They're both caring and creative thinkers, and are both really adaptable, but INFPs are strongly independent and very reserved, and ENFPs are generally more outgoing."

And according to John Hackston, head of thought leadership at the Myers-Briggs Company, ENFPs want someone they can be spontaneous with, so even though INFPs are more introverted, ENFPs will appreciate their go-with-the-flow attitude.

For this pair to thrive, Blaylock-Solar says, an ENFP will have to respect the INFP's need to decompress by themselves and understand that it's nothing personal if they want alone time.

When you get two INFPs together, expect a creative, deep, intuitive, and reflective relationship. Of course, these two will naturally click given their similarities, but according to Blaylock-Solar, too much of a good thing can still be too much.

"They're both that intuitive and perceiving type and may too often think of the big picture, without hammering out the little details," she tells mindbodygreen. "So it's important that they're mindful of that, and it goes back to the idea of open and clear, honest communication." She adds that clear and direct communication will be an area of growth for this pair.

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While INFPs and INTJs are alike in that they're both introverted and intuitive, one is more emotion-minded and go-with-the-flow, while the other is more logic-minded and regimented.

As such, Blaylock-Solar explains, an INTJ can seriously rub an INFP wrong if they're not careful. Remember, INFPs are sensitive and slow to open up. Not only are INTJs also not the quickest to wear their hearts on their sleeve, but they're not typically the most affectionate, either.

According to Nardi, in fact, INTJs can be aloof and accidentally insulting at times, not giving much attention to others' emotions—or their own. An INFP may not be suited to handle this kind of dynamic with a partner, but Blaylock-Solar says if they can build trust and rapport, they can have a quiet but intense relationship full of passion and non-conformism.

With an INFP and an ENTP, Blaylock-Solar notes they share a certain intellectual curiosity and passion for understanding the inner workings of things.

This can make for great conversation, but the ENTP's rational mind may catch the INFP's sweet disposition off guard. Where the INFP is often value-driven, the ENTP is more logic-driven, and no one wants to feel like their values aren't, well, valued.

As Nardi previously told mindbodygreen, ENTPs can even feel a need to "one-up" their partners intellectually. "They can be a disorganized, exciting, untrustworthy mess," he says, adding, "They tend to have issues around emotional safety, and if they don't take responsibility for their emotions, then they will see their partner and other people as causing their emotions."

But to that end, sometimes that's not what's happening, and INFPs can think about not taking everything personally. "A lot of times if INFPs receive objective criticism, they take it as a personal attack," Blaylock-Solar says, adding, "Sometimes with someone who's more logic driven, it's not a personal attack; it's just the facts."

INFPs are among the rarest types, at around 1% of the population, according to Nardi. He previously told mindbodygreen that female INFPs outnumber male INFPs two to one.

In terms of compatibility, there aren't too many differences in the best matches for a male INFP versus female INFP. In general, this is a type that needs to be with someone that shares the same core values as them, according to both Hackston and Nardi. Beyond that, they will be particularly drawn to people who share similar qualities like being intuitive and feeling, and they may benefit from J types who offer a bit more structure to their lives.

Blaylock-Solar does point out that when it comes to gender roles, a male INFP may feel a certain pressure to hide their more "feminine traits," like being emotion-minded, empathetic, intuitive, and sensitive. "Although they may be sensitive, they may project something different, and then they may have challenges with forming relationships with people because they're more comfortable in their shell," she explains.

It's worth mentioning that just because certain types are statistically and/or anecdotally thought of as being more or less compatible, any of the types can have a healthy and happy relationship when both parties are mature and willing to put in the work all relationships require.

Generally speaking though, if an INFP is looking your way, consider yourself lucky. This is a type that's selective about who they date, and slow to open up. But once they find someone they're interested in, they are loyal and loving partners.