5 Simple Ways to Avoid Over-Scheduling Your Kids

I still remember when my son ran into his kindergarten classroom and now he’s a junior in high school. Soon after that first day of kindergarten, came the onslaught of activities and sports. If we hadn’t paid attention, he would have become over-scheduled very quickly. We continue to be vigilant to ensure he is not over-scheduled and stressed.

I hope this is your year to embrace fewer activities.

Don’t get me wrong, the last two years we missed sports, church, and social events. But many families found it to be a breath of fresh air. It was the reset we needed.

So, how about you strike a better balance going forward? And say goodbye to some activities?

The research on why it matters is staggering.

Our kids are literally inundated with so many activities that psychologists write about the risks of the over-scheduled child. As a parent, I’ve seen it first hand.

Alvin Rosenfeld, author of “The Over-Scheduled Child” warns of the possible consequences of accounting for too many minutes of your child’s day. These consequences can include depression, anxiety, and a lack of creativity and problem-solving skills.

At a young age, our son rattled off a list of activities. But added, “I want 3 nights off a week and I want to be Free-Off.”  He meant Free-Time and Time-Off.

Free-Off means nothing scheduled and time to just be a kid. Wise words from a 5-year-old and something we still practice years later.

How to Avoid Over-Scheduling Your Kids

1. Allow Margin

Margin gives us room to breathe. A standard 1-inch margin is 37% of the page and is necessary to create a beautiful document.

Living with margin influences not just your physical space but your calendar space too. Be on the lookout for the telltale signs of over-scheduling. 

To combat this, discuss trade-offs with your kids. Determine a budget for your time and money. Most kids do not know to ask for time off. They get caught up in the excitement until they’re exhausted. As a parent, your role is to build in margin.

As parents, it’s our job to guard our kid’s schedules and guide their decisions. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to get our kids involved. “As parents, we’ve got to get over our anxiety that we’re not doing enough,” psychologist Paula Bloom told CNN.

2. Create Family Values

If you’ve never written down your values, try it. Feel free to read mine but yours will be different. Then compare them to your calendar. And evaluate future commitments against your values. Use your values to determine what makes the cut.

Church activities are non-negotiable in our family and we maintain Sunday as a day of rest. We set an example for our son by living out these values.

3. Every Year is a Blank Canvas

Before you rush to register for the same long list of activities, write down all the options. Fill out a mock calendar with the practices and games. Don’t forget school, homework, and work events.

Get a real sense of how full the weekly calendar will be before you commit. Make sure the entire family understands the commitment of time and money. A packed schedule leaves little room to accept future invites. Saying yes to all these activities means you will have to say no to something fun. You just don’t know it yet.

Every year, evaluate the schedule and ask the following:

Consider everyone’s schedules (Mom, Dad, and kids).  Everyone gets a vote. Mom and dad work. Kids go to school. Dad enjoys golf and tennis and mom loves book club. As a family we look forward to game nights, hanging out with neighbors, and traveling. Family activities are a priority. 

4. Schedule Nights Off First

How many nights off do your kids want? Ask them. How many nights do you want? Have a conversation and really listen to what every family member is saying and how they feel. Make sure there’s downtime and room for family nights.

5. Take A Day Off

Years ago, I read the book Minimalist Parenting. I highly recommend it because the chapter on activities offers sage advice about the importance of free time for creativity. Boredom is good for our kids. Seriously, really good. The author emphasizes how much our children learn from unstructured time.

Also, she gives her kids some control over their schedules. We apply this approach to my son’s sports schedule and allow him to take one day off per month from practice. I get it…sometimes I want a day off too! We plan it in advance and communicate with his coach.

Conclusion

This is your year to say no to over-scheduled kids. If you said no to an activity, what could you finally say yes to?  I hope you see the importance of unstructured time and embrace more margin in your days and weeks. You’re going to love being Free-Off.

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About the Author: Amy Slenker-Smith is a living simply coach and wonderful writer at Simply Enough. She lives near Washington DC with her husband Steve, son Zack and Zeke the cat. You can also find her on Facebook.