8 Red Flags To Watch Out For In 2025 To Avoid Relationship Disaster

Whether you're looking for a life partner, building a new friendship, or just want to connect with coworkers or neighbors, it helps to know what to watch out for. Some behaviors might seem innocent in nature, but are actually major red flags, especially when wielded by master manipulators. 

If you ever feel like things are too good to be true, that you're being used, or that the person you're engaging with wants something from you, you could have been interacting with a dark triad personality. These are people with malevolent qualities like narcissism (entitled self-importance), Machiavellianism (strategic exploitation and deception), and psychopathy (callousness and cynicism).

Of course, there's always a fine line between those who are simply self-absorbed, scatterbrained, or inconsiderate, versus those who purposely exploit others for their own personal gain.

Understanding this nuance is important, so to protect yourself, don't ignore these red flags. 

It sure does feel good to be the center of someone’s world, whether they give you lots of attention, time, and energy, or lavish you with gifts—but if this happens too soon in the relationship and you’re still getting to know one another, it could be a major red flag. 

Accelerating the relationship through love bombing is a master manipulation tactic where intense displays of affection, lots of kind words, excess admiration, and/or grand gestures are used to lure you into attachment early on.

To avoid being love bombed, always pay close attention to others’ actions, not just their words. Take things slow and trust your intuition—because often, it will tell you when something is off.

In the past, I've unknowingly been involved with men who were secretly looking for sugar mamas. Looking back on those situations, every single one of them talked about money, how much they did or didn’t have, their money goals, or asked about my finances within the first week of knowing them.

If someone seems to flaunt money, talk a lot about it, or ask you about yours early on, it may be an indication they have an unhealthy relationship with it. They could even be an opportunist looking for you to save them or provide for them—without them making an equal contribution to the relationship. 

This is also closely linked to Peter Pan syndrome, which is essentially when an adult is socially immature and doesn’t want to grow up. These people are always looking for someone else to provide for them, while they don't take responsibility for themselves or their own life.

Best to walk away from the takers, users, and opportunists sooner than later. 

I've met so many men who always talk about other women, especially their exes. In the past, what I didn't realize is this is a form of emotional abuse and a highly damaging manipulation tactic called triangulation.

Manipulators will bring up others indirectly (and behind their back) to elicit an emotional response from you: rage, jealously, doubt, etc. It looks like pitting people against each other without them even knowing it. 

They might say, “My ex would have done that for me, why don’t you?," or, “My sister wanted me to do this and I said no, but for you I will.”

It can cause you to second-guess yourself. Healthy people do not talk about other people or put them in unknown competitions with one another. This highly toxic behavior can destroy your self-confidence if you're unaware it's happening, and that is what abusers want—to keep you locked in your own insecurities so you don’t question them.

To avoid being trapped in a triangulation, setting boundaries, such as, “That other person has nothing to do with the situation at hand. This is between you and me, so I would appreciate you not bringing others into our dynamic,” will help you stand in your own power.  

I once unknowingly befriended a con artist, and they were transactional by nature. It was early in our connection and we were still getting to know each other when he gave me a gift, but it was under one circumstance: that I post about it on my social media.

I wanted to be polite, but this screamed transactional friend who was only using me for my connections, which turned out to be true.

If someone gives you a lot of time, money, energy, or gifts, but adds a demand or request along with it—as in, you have to do something for them in return—they are not interested in you as a person but in what you can do and provide for them.

These types of people most likely see others as objects they can use and take from, with no intention of giving. Run (don’t walk) away from users and abusers. 

That same fake friend never asked me any questions about myself, except for the very first time we hung out. He asked, “Where were you born? What’s your favorite color?” “What sports did you play in childhood?” Turns out, he was faking the entire friendship.

I learned that person was actually a con artist who was only trying to steal money from me. I thought it was weird that the only questions he asked me the first time we hung out were security questions!

Now I know if somebody never asks you questions, they’re actually not interested in getting to know you. They usually have an agenda or are trying to manipulate you.

I had a friend from high school that would come back into my life every five to seven years wanting to date again or connect. I never questioned it, I just assumed they missed me and that is how life worked, people come and go.

But once I started doing more inner child healing, looked at my own people-pleasing behaviors, and healed my abandonment wounds, I saw that this person was only using me for their own ego supply between their failed relationships or separation. They never committed to me because they were using me to stroke their ego.

If a person is inconsistent, coming in and out of your life, it’s not because they’re excited to see you or miss you. It's because you're making yourself available to them, which is disrespecting yourself. 

Furthermore, if somebody is late every single time you meet them, it could be a red flag. We all understand that people are busy, things happen, and time management is not for everyone, but if someone is late all the time, it shows they don’t respect you or value your time, and most likely they don’t even respect themselves.

You deserve someone who is consistent, open, and honest with their life and who treats you with respect. Honor yourself enough to walk away from anything less.

I went on a first date with someone, and within ten minutes of knowing them, they told me their most traumatic childhood story along with some tears. At first the empathic, big-hearted, sensitive part of me wanted to console and care for them. I wanted to make it better. Which is exactly what they wanted.

This is a red flag! A healthy person is not going to use a vulnerable story to bait you into caring for them. This tactic is used by deceivers to gauge your level of empathy. 

The master manipulators will be skilled at crocodile tears (fake tears), to ensure more empathy from you and take the pressure off them to change, be better, or treat you better, all under the guise of having trauma.

If someone uses their trauma to get you to care for them, you are being manipulated and this person most likely has no intention of changing or healing.

It is an act of self-love for you to let them heal themselves and not take it on. Let people do their own inner work. It is not your responsibility. You want healthy love, not someone who disrespects you by intentionally holding you back. 

I dated three people in a row who always had to go somewhere soon, whether it was a trip in a few days, a friend coming into town, etc., or they were always coming from some place, a trip, a great night on the town, etc.

Just watch The Tinder Swindler and you'll know this is a manipulation tactic. This tried and true strategy gets people interested faster, manufacturing the illusion of time being valuable and attention being sparse.

It plays off rejection and abandonment wounds, and will have you chasing them or believing they are high value because they're always doing something or going somewhere. 

There is a difference between actually being busy and presenting yourself as busy. Insecure, manipulative people make sure to tell their plans to hook you into believing they're popular. And if they're unreachable during their time away, they could even be leading double lives.

A secure, healthy person will be straightforward and honest—and keep communication lines open. You will be able to spot the master manipulators by their elusive nature and lack of details. They're purposely being vague to hook you—don’t fall for it. 

The takeaway

We all want healthier, happier relationships, and this requires intention and care. If you recognize any of these behaviors, it could be a sign of narcissistic abuse or a dark triad personality type, which means there is no possible way to have a healthy relationship with them.

Move away from people who cannot meet your needs, and focus on healthy, reciprocal relationships with people who want the best for you, not from you. 

If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1. For anonymous and confidential help, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224) and speak with a trained advocate for free as many times as you need. They're available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can also speak to them through a live private chat on their website.