Is a Journaling Club a Brilliant Way to Make Friends?

Last week, I co-hosted an afternoon gathering to celebrate Suleika Jaouad’s new book and came away with budding friendships and the best conversation starter…

First off, did you ever read Suleika’s 2021 memoir Between Two Kingdoms? At age 22, Suleika was diagnosed with leukemia with a 35% chance of long-term survival. She spent much of the next four years in a hospital bed. But when the doctors finally pronounced her “cancer free,” she faced her next challenge: learning how to live.

Now Suleika has written another beautiful publication: The Book of Alchemy: A Creative Practice for an Inspired Life. “Journaling saved my life during difficult times,” she told us, so she created a journaling guide with thought-provoking prompts and essays from fellow creatives like her husband Jon Batiste, Ann Patchett, Jia Tolentino, George Saunders, and many others.

In my living room, Suleika read an essay from her book, then asked us to each spend 10 minutes writing something — anything — about our hands. The topic was so specific that everyone immediately had ideas and began scribbling away; and when a few people chose to share what they’d written, their stories were about so much more than just a body part. It’s incredible how even a one-word prompt can lead people into profound observations about culture, identity, race, religion, the list goes on.

Me, writing about biting my nails and anxiety

Before journaling, Suleika told us, she sometimes writes a question to herself. “Elizabeth Gilbert wrote an essay for the book,” she explains. “She has a longstanding practice, where she opens her journal entries with ‘Dear Love, what will you have me know today?’ I have followed her lead and also taken my own liberties. So, when I’m awash in uncertainty, I write ‘What will you have me know today?’ at the top of the page; then I try to write from some deep knowing place of intuition.”

Another more lighthearted prompt was to close our eyes and draw a giraffe. (The hardest part was the spots.)

Clare de Boer and Deb Perelman

We laughed at our terrible results, but the exercise helped break the ice and remind us that journaling isn’t about being perfect.

Amber Tamblyn and Suleika

Finally, Suleika asked us to go around the room and — instead of talking about our jobs — to share something we would put on our “unofficial resume.” For example, she has three dogs, and since her husband thinks three is plenty, Suleika now helps friends find their own ideal dogs.

Nell Diamond, Priya Parker, and Brit Bennett

Priya Parker, above, told us that she’s a good matchmaker for people who want to get back into reading: “I ask a bunch of questions and then prescribe three books to begin with.” As for Deb Perelman from Smitten Kitchen? “I was in synchronized swimming in high school. It’s a really hard sport.”

Peyton Dix, Hrishikesh Hirway, and Nell Diamond

Musician Hrishikesh Hirway explained that he is a chocolate chip cookie enthusiast and can name the best chocolate chip cookies in any city he has visited. (His New York winner? Jacques Torres.)

Hitha Palepu, Hunter Harris and Peyton Dix

“My secret talent is being a great wedding guest,” added Hunter Harris. “I will dress for the occasion, I will take great social media pics of the bride and groom, I always have an extra hair tie/tampon/Listerine strip/mirror, and I love making small talk with your random family member or co-worker.”

The entire afternoon felt so magical, in huge part because Suleika and her book were so magical. Journaling helps you connect so quickly that many guests left with ideas for how to work together in the future, personally, professionally and politically. I also feel inspired to start a journaling club — you could come together to write about a shared prompt and then discuss whatever comes up for you. Would you ever do that? I’d highly recommend Suleika’s wonderful book for yourself, a gift, anyone who enjoys writing, therapy, staring out windows, the meaning of life, all of it!

Thank you so much, Suleika. xoxo

P.S. “Nine life lessons I learned after my cancer diagnosis,” five ways to be a better listener, and what are your core values?

(Photos by Ana Murphy.)