Minimizing the Opinions of Others

One of the many things I have observed as a longtime online writer is the ebb and flow of the opinions of others. Putting yourself out there, being real and transparent, and sharing from your heart opens the door for others to react and respond, and their feedback can either distract and discourage or affirm and encourage you.

Here are 10 lessons I’ve learned over the past nearly 12 years that are not only for online authors but can be applied to anyone who deals with the opinions of others. Don’t we all?

1. People’s opinions are as varied as people themselves.

They hold the potential to elevate you to pedestal status one day, then to trample your name (and work) in the mud the next. People’s opinions vary immensely from one person to the next. A thousand people can read your written words and come away from them with a thousand interpretations. Those interpretations can be completely off-track or the reader can totally “get” what you are trying to say.

2. Stay true to yourself.

Don’t be swayed. Don’t second-guess yourself. Stay true to who you are and what you have been called to do. My husband always tells me to do what brings me peace, and following his advice is extremely liberating. Continue to do what gives you peace and allows you to lie down at night with a clear, clean conscience. Don’t conform to what others think you should do, say, or be.

3. Praise isn’t always what it seems.

There are those who have mastered the art of being able to ruin a perfectly good compliment by adding a subtle, passive-aggressive insult to the mix.

4. Jealousy is cruel.

Your success can and will bring out the worst in others. Song of Solomon 8:6 says, “Jealousy is as cruel as the grave.” People who are driven by jealousy are much more likely to lash out online than insult you to your face. If someone is jealous of you and/or your work, remember it is their problem, not yours. Press on unfazed by the issue(s) of those who criticize you.

5. Stay grounded.

There will be highs. There will be lows. The important thing is that you are affected by neither. Whether someone left a one-star rating or a five-star review changes nothing.

6. Toughen up.

Grow a thick skin. The reason I have such hard, layered callouses on the ends of the fingers of my left hand is because of the countless hours I have spent playing my guitar. When I was in Bible college, I used to drive home to spend every weekend I possibly could with my parents, and during that time, my Daddy was in the process of teaching me to play the guitar. He would teach me something new on the weekends, then I would go back to school and practice during the week. My fingers would be so bruised and sore that I could hardly stand it, but I persevered and pressed on. Why? Because I wanted, with all my heart, to play the guitar. Now, I can play for extended periods of time with little to no pain because my fingertips are tough and calloused.

Get used to dents in your armor. That is why you wear it. Every dent shows that it has done its job and protected you.

7. Stay the course.

Keep doing what you are meant to do. Don’t give up, no matter who does or does not find value in you and your endeavors. Don’t lose sight of your original intent. Don’t be swayed one iota just because someone or even a million someones disagree(s). Remember the innumerable times the work of champions has been misunderstood, misconstrued, mocked, and rejected.

8. Papaw was right.

He pastored the same church for around 40 years. He dealt with accolades from those who called him “The Walking King James,” and he endured abuse from those who didn’t agree with and/or like him. He had a remarkable way of remaining completely unscathed and unfazed by what other people thought of him and used to say that other people’s criticism or talk didn’t “amount to any more than an old dog barking.” Another thing he often said was to just “let it roll off like water off a duck’s back.” Whether someone else’s opinion of you/your work compelled them to grace you with a heart, a thumbs down, or an angry emoji, let it affect you as much as you would if you heard an old dog barking, shake it off like water off a duck’s back, and keep pressing on!

9. Don’t waste time or energy on what and who doesn’t matter to you.

When dealing with criticism and a plethora of other negatives, I have asked myself one question countless times—is this person anyone important in my life? If the answer is “no,” it is very easy for me to follow Papaw’s advice. Though I know a lot of people, I keep my circle small, and I am extremely selective as to whom I allow in it. To be honest, God’s opinion and the opinions of those few, carefully selected, special people are the only opinions I care anything at all about.

Keep perspective and stay focused. People’s opinions are just that. They don’t change who you are. Ask yourself, “Who is important in my life?” Make a list. Then, when you are dealing with unfavorable opinions, ask yourself, is the person who is saying this on my list? If they aren’t, dismiss it, and refocus on what and more importantly, who matters to you.

10. Ignorance is bliss.

Sometimes it is just best to stop reading comments, chasing down reviews, and trying to find every single thing anyone in the world is saying about you. You have given your all. You have put your best work out there. It is not necessary to know what others think about it.

Opinions are just opinions, after all.

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About the Author: Cheryl Smith is the author of the books Biblical Minimalism, Homespun Devotions: Volume One, and Homespun Devotions: Volume Two, and she blogs at Biblical Minimalism and Homespun Devotions. She loves to spend time with her husband and son in the mountains, sing and play bluegrass music, and write.