Making Christmas Less Chaotic

Since having kids, this is the least chaotic Christmas I’ve ever had. And it’s made me wonder what’s kept me from having a Christmas like this years prior.

There is a certain amount of anticipation that children have in wonderment over the season which has propelled my desire for that “perfect” Christmas. I also happen to love the Christmas season and everything that’s involved with it. I grew up in a wonderful home that celebrated the season and we did it with two Christmas trees, a very decorated house, and Christmas cookies churning out all December long.

Christmas is magical.

But this year, things are different. Both my sons essentially will have their “last” Christmas with us. My oldest is getting married next spring, and my youngest is moving across the country for college. I realize, of course, that I’ll still see them at Christmas, but our Christmases will look different.

While this is sobering, and my empty-nesting future is knocking at the door, you’d think I would’ve been gung-ho to keep it the same this last and final year. But instead, I wasn’t. It wasn’t that I’d lost my love for doing Christmas, but my focus had shifted to my sons. Being with them, not out shopping; talking and laughing with them, not putting up the Christmas tree.

And by letting myself slow down and ease into Christmas, it’s made me enjoy the season so much more. Are you looking to slow down? Here’s what I changed this year and hopefully, you can learn from my mistakes to have the best Christmas ever.

Put the tree up later. (Way later.) – I love putting up the Christmas tree and having the lights glowing and twinkling in the evenings. And I’ve always thought having the tree up for a month was way too short. But you know what? I can just leave the tree up in late January instead of putting it up in mid-November to put it away at the end of December. Put the tree up when you can, it’s okay to push it close to Christmas Day if you want. Just know your Christmas won’t be canceled all because the tree came out later than typical.

Send the cards out later. (Or don’t do them at all.)- I’ve been doing Christmas cards for over two decades. But, let’s be honest, other than close friends and family, the pictures are done for us, our own family, so we can see our kids grow up. Want to save some money? Take a Christmas photo with a tripod and self-timer and print and frame just that one for yourselves. Then post that photo on your social media. Christmas cards are done! No paying for a photographer, buying the right card, addressing, or buying stamps. Or perhaps, take a break one year, and do cards the next year. There are no rules for this! I sent our cards out later this year than normal… and I am so okay with that. We also used a selfie of us all at Disneyland for the photo. Talk about easy. Keep it simple.

Wrap the gifts later. (When you’re ready.) – I’m usually one to have shopped and wrapped all the gifts by December 1st. As a working mom, this was always a must, and trying to navigate work and Christmas, like usual, is always stressful, so getting it done early was the easiest way to know if I had everything. This year, I just don’t care! I have all the gifts purchased (I think) but they’re still hanging out in my bedroom, hidden in drawers, and stuffed in the closet and I might get all of them wrapped by Christmas Eve. If I feel like it.

Simplify the Gifts. (Seriously, less is more). – Having lots of gifts for my kids has always been a fun thing. Their joy at opening them is the best part. But is having more of lesser things better than having a few better things? My motto in my home and wardrobe has shifted over the last decade to this: buy better but by less. And my gift giving has done the same. No, my boys won’t have two dozen gifts to open from us, but those gifts will be better, fewer, and nicer gifts. And I feel like that counts for so much more.

In my past Christmases, there was this pressure to “do it all now and do it early” just to keep my head above water. I really should’ve just done a little bit every day and gradually worked my way to my perfect Christmas all those years. Mostly, I should’ve let go of the fake idealization of Christmas that the media had indoctrinated into me. Perfection is not necessary for a perfect Christmas.

I enjoy Christmas but I don’t have to break my neck to get it all done to enjoy it. My home does not need to look like a Hallmark movie. I can enjoy the season as the season progresses!

I can wait to get the tree, I can forgo Christmas cards, and I can wrap the gifts later. Instead of doing the things I think I have to do first, I can bake more holiday treats, focus on being with my two sons, get together with friends and family over meals, and enjoy living a simple but very beautiful Christmas by doing things slowly, intentionally, and overall, with less.

Because less… is always more.

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About the Author: Heather Spiva is a freelance writer from Northern California with a penchant for minimalism, vintage clothing, and coffee. When she’s not writing, she’s reading. Her husband and two grown sons are the loves of her life.