Stop Being Nostalgic, Things were never that great

Isn’t it crazy to think that in a few decades people will look back at the 20s (now) as simpler times?

What’s even crazier is that you, who could be hating life right now, might very well do the same.

Nostalgia has an incredible amount of power over the mind.

Even if it doesn’t feel like it, these really are the ‘good old days’.

And that, in itself, should be enough evidence to prove that nostalgia is complete nonsense.

But fret not, this isn’t as doom and gloom as it sounds, I promise.

Nostalgia and the death of optimism

“Memory is a liar. It’s a heap of dog-eared, smudged, incessantly revised fictions.” Peter Schjeldahl

If these are the good old days, then did good old days ever exist in the first place?

That’s the riddle I’m going to try and decipher in this article. 

Your perspective may shift when you realize there’s a lot more to nostalgia than just a warm fuzzy feeling you get when you remember nice things from the past.

Have you ever heard of the positivity effect?

I hadn’t either until a few hours ago, but I wanted to find some science to back up what I was already thinking.

The positivity effect refers to the tendency, especially in older adults, to focus more on positive experiences and memories rather than negative ones.

As we get older, we get better at emotional regulation, so we tend to prioritize positive stuff… basically the reason most of us can stay sane in this world of ours. 

In the past, this was crucial for survival.

Imagine if you hadn’t caught something to eat in days – without the positivity effect, you’d literally just give up.

The positivity effect gives us versions of the past that feel warm and hopeful, helping us push forward in the present moment.

If you were out there chasing a wildebeest across the Sahara desert 1000 years ago, this little brain function would have been great.

But like everything in our annoying, modern and luxurious lives, we have to account for a brain that hasn’t evolved as quickly as the stimulus from the cheap pleasures that surrounds it.

I don’t think the positivity effect (nostalgia) makes us feel hopeful or optimistic anymore.

I think it does the opposite.

Survival vs. stagnation

When you indulge in nostalgia, you’re stacking the deck in favor of the past.

You’re comparing a version of history where most of the bad parts have faded away, to a present where every challenge and frustration is immediate.

Of course the past is going to seem better – it’s been edited.

Whilst this edited past may have helped us survive by chasing down that wildebeest (by filtering out the failures and reinforcing past successes), this same selective memory is what leaves us stagnant today.

Nostalgia now turns our focus backward rather than pushing us forward.

Instead of using selective memory to fuel motivation, we use it to romanticize the past.

When we feel behind in life, we often think back to all the good memories.

The carefree days at school, nights out with friends and the excitement of trying things for the first time.

But we conveniently forget the parts that didn’t feel so great at the time.

Those parts fade, whilst the highlights remain.

And that’s one of the worst parts about nostalgia, it tricks you into believing the past was better than it really was.

Things are better than ever

I previously wrote about how the world is better than ever (not my opinion, facts).

In almost every metric (life expectancy, child mortality rates, poverty, access to healthcare, education and technology) the world is improving, and drastically.

Nostalgia cannot be used to say the world was safer, more accommodating or better in any objective sense in the past, because in most cases it’s simply not true.

So if nostalgia is nonsense objectively, what about subjectively?

The French have a saying ‘C’était mieux avant’, which translates to ‘it was better before’.

Though I think no matter what country you’re in, what hobby you’re a part of, or what media you consume, you’ll often hear these words.

Music used to be better.

Fashion used to be better.

Life was better before technology.

And this is where we link back to the positivity effect.

These things we treasure so dearly from the past are tied to such strong positive memories.

Music wasn’t better in the past.

But maybe your favorite song or artist is tied to some precious memory that has been clouded by nostalgia.

There is nothing wrong with this at all, I think it’s beautiful actually, but it doesn’t mean it’s objectively better.

We idolize the hippie culture and fashion of the 60s, forgetting the war and political unrest that defined it.

We dream of a time before technology and social media, because it’s ruining our social fabric.

“Life was so much better before technology,” a line uttered by a boy (me) who is currently tapping away on my laptop, connected to a second screen, with bluetooth headphones on and a phone beside him streaming unlimited music off the internet.

If technology had improved to a point where you could reach through your screen and slap me across my face right now, I think I’d encourage you to do it.

Life was better before social media?

Cool, delete all your accounts and stop using it.

Life was better before the internet?

I’ll catch you in the library rooting through the encyclopedia section looking for positivity effect in the P book.

Life was better before phones?

Buy a homing pigeon and start having it deliver written letters for you.

We have the choice to use and take advantage of all these technological advancements, but we also have the choice to avoid them.

Sometimes I think nostalgia is a scapegoat for our inability to choose the latter.

Stop using nostalgia as an excuse

“Nostalgia is a seductive liar.” George Ball

This is a message for myself as well (like most articles I write).

Stop letting distorted memories of the past cloud your view of the present.

Don’t get me wrong, I think nostalgia is wonderful.

I mean, who doesn’t want to think fondly of things?

But when reminiscing on those memories comes at a cost to our present and future experiences, it’s a problem.

The more time you spend looking backwards, the less time you spend figuring out where you want to go next.

Nostalgia is seductive, but it can also be destructive.

So to answer the initial riddle I posed for myself earlier:

If these are the good old days, then did good old days ever exist in the first place?

I’ll get back to you on that in 20 years.

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About the Author: Jack Waters is a former journalist turned creative thinker and writer, on a mission to become better every day and live a more fulfilling life.