Turn Papa John's Garlic Sauce Into a Fancy Compound Butter

Back in my college days, my roommate and I frequently ordered something we called a “hangover pizza.” There was nothing remarkable about the pizza. It was almost always a pepperoni pizza from Papa John’s, because we loved the garlic sauce, but also because the local greasy pizza place (Five Star), was rough on an already unstable stomach. (Five Star Pizza was a great drunk pizza, but a terrible hungover pizza.)

Anyway. I rarely eat Papa John’s anymore, but the other day I had a craving for the mass-produced garlic sauce, so I ordered a hangover pizza, even though I wasn’t hungover, and I ordered extra garlic sauce. One of the little tubs had been sitting in my fridge for a few weeks, and while I had originally intended to break it out the next time I enjoyed a Totino’s party pizza, I decided to see if it could be blended into an unholy garlic compound butter.

It could be, and it was.

Blending a tub of Papa John’s Garlic Sauce with a stick of salted butter made a garlic butter that tasted a little outlandish and tacky. It’s deeply savory and garlicky in a commercially produced sort of way, and you feel slightly indecent while enjoying it, but that’s half the fun, as they say. The two fats compete on your palate, and just when your tongue starts to clock the garlic sauce for what it is, the butter swoops in, as if to say “Nothing to see here! I’m just regular garlic butter!” It’s fun.

I used salted butter, because I rarely buy unsalted, but if your palate is easily overwhelmed by sodium, I recommend using unsalted, then seasoning with salt if you think it needs it.

As with any compound butter, you’ll want to start by making sure both ingredients are at room temperature. This ensures your compound butter whips up fluffy and glossy, rather than greasy and gloppy. Chop the butter into four portions, then add it to the bowl of a food processor, along with the garlic sauce. Blend to completely combine. Use it to make some fucked up garlic bread, fry an egg in it, or dip your hangover pizza in it for a slightly elevated, though authentic, hangover pizza experience.