Perimenopause: The Board Game

There are some great resources out there (many of which have already been mentioned). A podcast I get alot out of is A Certain Age with Katie Fogarty. She recently had Maria Sophocles on to talk about the midlife bedroom gap and it was really helpful! https://overcast.fm/+h5-bsvBA8

Wait, what about the hot flashes and the INSOMNIA? I could be wrong (I had a ton of brain fog, too) but for me it was ALL about hot flashes and insomnia. HRT, my friends, HRT! Two words: I sleep!

I started suppressing my periods at 41, ten years ago now. Probably saved my life. Perimenopause and undiagnosed Ehlers Danlos were wrecking my life. For two weeks every month I was full of rage cycling why depression and shame and suicidal ideation. My joint pain was off the charts. I had no solution for the massive bleeding, I couldn’t leave my house. My anxiety was bonkers. Anemia and sleeplessness were making it hard to even function. I would go back to *normal* for a couple weeks only to be hot again. The first month I started suppressing my periods stopped and I’ve not had one since. Every vacation. Every family event. Every holiday. No worries. I wake up every day in the same happy mood. I just don’t have mood swings anymore. 3 years ago a MRI for my hips showed something suspicious in my uterus and I had to have more imaging. Turns out the MRI was just picking up a ghost image, thankfully. But my OB GYN said after the further imaging, “I rarely see such a happy uterus in a woman of 48!” We are not meant to menstruate for decades. It’s terrible for us and not at all natural. I think so many peri and meno problems stem from this. Anyways, please ask for help if you are suffering. And don’t settle on antidepressants if you don’t think that’s the answer (or the only answer). I’ve recently added the estrogen patch a few months back because I’m 51 now and I truly think it’s going to help me stay well for longer. It’s also solved this weird bad taste in my mouth that I had for months, inner ear itching, and my brain fog is better too.

This is painfully, hilariously accurate. This week I’ve been researching “meno belly,” high protein/low fat snacks, and “menopause greasy hair?” all while on my still-very-regular period.

Hot & Bothered by Jancee Dunn is a good resource too!!

This may help with hot flashes: I was getting a ridiculous number of hot flashes, sometimes every 20 minutes! I noticed when I ate sugar or carbs, I would get a hot flash about 15-20 min afterwards. Essentially big jumps in my blood sugar made my hot flashes more frequent and worse. Cutting that back helped me control that a ton!

Post perimenopause isn’t fun either. My suggestion is to keep talking about it to everybody who cares about you and change doctors if needed (and if they ask why you’re switching–just let them know). Even my older women friends never brought up how much they were still struggling until a few of us started talking. There’s all kinds of stuff available that might help so don’t let anyone dismiss you. Good luck everybody!!

Joanna, we definitely nerd a post/series on this topic!! I am turning 37 this year and have spent wondering about this hormonal rollercoaster from hell for the past year or so. Sudden histamine/digestive issues, joint pain, brain fog, you name it! Working as a psychotherapist, I meet so many patients struggling with symptoms and not feeling taken serious by doctors. I’ve started to gather information myself, following helpful stuff on IG but am still startled by the lack of knowledge and information in the medical community. I would love to specialize in this field — intersection of gynecology and psychiatry— but with two small children am lacking time and energy (and mentioned hormonal balance, haha).

I’m 39 and apparently dealing with perimenopause because my excellent yet nonchalant OB was like “oh yeah it can start at 35” to which I said “can we get health class again as grown ups, because WTF!”

Oh man, this. So far I’m on HRT, no booze, no caffeine, Pilates and about to go no sugar (just connected the dots – every time I have a sugar binge, I have night sweats). Can’t wait for this fresh hell to end

So good. Researching weights, yes! Haha! Not picked any up yet mind you…A great source of peri and menopause info in the UK is Dr. Louise Newsome a.k.a. The Menopause Doc. I’m glad we are starting to address this time in all womens’ lives.

I am 44 and still have a regular period, but the algorithms have definitely pegged me. I vascilate between feeling overwhelmed by all the information and dreading taking this on in the American healthcare system to being a wee bit skeptical that capitalism is just trying to make money off of me. Read this book! Buy this protein powder! Get on these supplements! Ahhhhhhhh!

“Working on my night sweats” is my current jam.

OMG I needed this. Thank you wonderful Grace!

Ladies! Don’t be afraid to eat foods high in phytoestrogens to help reduce symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats. They can be a game changer in that regard, plus, they’re super nutritious in other ways as well.

I’d HIGHLY recommend joining this Facebook group (Perimenopause Hub – Support and friendship)- no matter what symptoms you may have, you’ll likely find another person who’d going through the same thing- misery does love company! Plus, everyone is so nice about offering support and tips when you’re having a bad day.

Yup. So frustrating . I’m 44, on Tamoxifen, can’t take any hormones… all the symptoms and it sucks. I’ve got probably another ten years to go and no one has any help to offer. So frustrating. Oh, did I already say that???

I sure am—playing to win, baby!

I’m having all of the symptoms and could not figure out this big change in previously healthy life. And then one day, a light bulb went off – perimenopause. I sought out the above podcasts and books and decided HRT was the path for me. I decided not to wait to get into my MD and instead had a telehealth visit with Midi Health that very day. I’ve been on HRT for a week and have noticed a difference in my sleep and can’t wait to see what else improves.

100%. Also!!! weird bloating semi all the time? It is like that part of your cycle or early pregnancy where all your clothes seem too tight except for it is permanent. Fun!

Find a certified provider if you are lucky enough to have one in your area. North American Menopause Society – https://www.menopause.org/

Spot on! Especially the weights. I started strength training more seriously a couple years ago when my mom was diagnosed with osteoporosis and I tell people that’s why I lift weights. But also the arm definition I have now is awesome – and a fun bonus!

Ugh this could not be more timely. I’m turning 40 soon and I’m realizing so many issues that might be related to perimenopause: hair loss, night sweats, possibly hot flashes? And most recently, to my absolute HORROR, prolapse. :( Any other prolapse-ers out there? I made an appt with a gyno who also does urology and found a referral for a pelvic PT but it’s hard not to feel like I just aged 30 years in a week . . . And it’s hard not to spiral since I’m aware of it every time I have to go to the bathroom!

Another banger from Grace Farris! I’m 45 and having mild peri symptoms, which I am helping as much as I can with all the good stuff regularly: sleep, exercise, protein , fiber, minimal BS (when avoidable). Also keeping informed as much as I can and will advocate for HRT if/when I feel I need it. I feel grateful to be in a generation of women that is demanding more and better care for ourselves as we age.

Thank you!! I’ve been wanting more perimenopause insight, even emailing it as a suggestion to COJ, since I knew this audience would also have amazing wisdom. I was all: just name the post Perimenopause – DISCUSS :-).
Think the board game needs a spot for the overlap between “is it perimenopause? or underdiagnosed female ADHD? or ‘just’ my post-pregnancy thyroid bust needing a med adjustment?” And how the hell do we get through this with tweens?!?

The month after I turned 40 I skipped a period… Is it perimenopause or pregnancy? Reader, it was pregnancy. Will have my first (AND LAST) baby in August.

Oh, the joys. My hypochondriac tendencies brain finally gave up and I now attribute every ailment and emotionally overloaded day to perimenopause. It keeps me sane, and in good humor. I feel like a teenager again, only with the aches and pains of what I imagine to be an 80 year old. The bewilderment of my aging body is similar, teen me wondered, “what is happening to my body?!” And now I find 49-year old me thinking the same but with the added, “this is not my body!” Love it or not, it’s amazing.

As a 63 year old who has been thru this (and it was a doozy). Ladies if your Dr. isn’t helping find a new one. They are out there. Keep looking.

Read Grown Woman Talk by Sharon Malone and The New Menopause by Mary Claire Haver!!!! Such incredible guides.

This 63 year old had a great laugh over the game. Argh, the memories. Every few months I unexpectedly play the game for a few days.
Hot flashes! My dear spouse comes over and fans me. He knows not to get to close, I might snap at him.

Nailed it. Just purchased a sick number of free weights on FB marketplace last weekend and am researching protein packed lunches. Like so many others here I have a very laissez fair obgyn who seems to have no answers or even a roadmap to offer when it comes to this journey. This is such a fun age ;)

I was feeling ALL OF THIS plus so much more and my doctor kept brushing it off (pffft). So frustrating. I finally found a doctor who listened and validated what I was feeling at myalloy.com and put me on HRT. Highly recommend

Currently living this hell. I didn’t know that the insides of your ears itching could be a symptom…amid the other list of like 70 sympntoms.

Grace Ferris – you are the absolute best!!! The “research weightlifting” was sheer perfection

After I had my 2nd child at 36 years old, I had several perimenopausal symptoms for 3 years and my doctor said I was too young and laughed it off. Well, my last period I had was at 40 years old. When I moved to Seattle my new doctor confirmed what I already knew. I was post menopausal!

All. of. this. I am turning 45 this year and can recommend a few books that have been super helpful for me: The Menopause Manifesto, Unlock Your Menopause Type, and The Menopause Brain, all of which present current research around lifestyle factors and treatment, and helped me navigate conversations with my doctor. I finally started HRT this spring and it has been a gamechanger! I’m sleeping better, my energy levels are back to normal, and my baseline anxiety is way down. My therapist told me that a lot of women at this stage get put on anti-depressants when HRT might be more appropriate, but our generation has to overcome all of the previous misinformation around it. I also had the sweetest young pharmacist handed me my prescription and told me he was so happy for me – that he saw his mom suffer through unnecessarily and was sure that I was going to feel a lot better. All to say, I’m so glad our generation is talking about it!

Huberman Lab podcast episode 179 (June 3, 2024) has good information: Dr. Mary Claire Haver: How to Navigate Menopause & Perimenopause for Maximum Health & Vitality.

Not there yet but there is a book called Hormonal Intelligence (almost like a textbook) and it’s 100% about women’s heath in all the stages. I find it very helpful but mostly it was just good to say “ahhh that’s what that is” about so many things.

Almost 58 here, and still having the occasional light period. There are quite a few good podcasts taking a more functional/integrated approach to hormones which I quite like and learn from–Everyday Wellness with Cynthia Thurlow, Evolving Wellness with Sarah Kleiner, The Hormone Solution with Karen Martel, and if you can find Elizabeth Bright on youtube, she has a fascinating expertise on thyroid as it relates to female aging. What’s worked for me is being almost zero carb and minding thyroid function. I also don’t drink, and stopped oral contraceptives about 5 years ago (tricky transition, but better off for it).

LOLing so hard. Also putting out the recommendation for Menopause Manifesto by Jen Gutner; my early 40s friends and I are inhaling it right now. Recommended to me by my doctor who listened on audio and said it was about time there was actually facts and science that women could reference wrt menopause.

hmmm…. I think I’m playing the game :)